Lost and Found
by Queenbee19
Summary: (Being Rewriten! This is an old version)
1. Find Your Bliss

Intro

This is a story based on Chase and Kim, two of my characters who were best friends until Kim switched from Erudite. They also have a friend Katherine, but this story mainly focuses on the relationship between the two girls. Each Chapter will have point of views from Chase and Kim. They are both 15 and unsure of their place in the factions and the upcoming choice they will make. Its T because I intend for some things to happen later. PM me with suggestions and thanks for reviews, Im new at this.

Some of the original characters mentioned are not mine.

LilacDusts: Toni, Silvia, Katherine, Jonathan

(Check out her story about Toni! Its really good!)

CandorRarity: Purity, Paige, Liam, Rebecca

(Check out her HG story about her victor!)

Avidbookreader14: Lexi, Artemis, Rebecca

(Check out all of her stories their all amazing!)

BlackMambaRebel: Dustin, Hayden, Channing

Chase

To be the best, you've got to beat the best. Sometimes that means stepping on the best and squishing them, and then climbing over to get to the top. At least thats what my mom believes, she doesn't flat out tell me to step on my friends, but she just gives me a look if I get a 99 on a test and Katherine gets 100. Then I know that I need to be better, do better.

I'm Chase Matthews, and you are lucky enough to see a glimpse into one of this worlds brightest minds. I'm 15 and very talented for my age. I'm not exactly a certified genius, which my mom was greatly disappointed in, but I'm very close.

I like to think of myself as something special. Like I have some amazing talent just ready to burst out, or like one day I'm going to do something amazing. Like have the best initiation essay known to man, or like find a new planet or something. I'm not sure, but I just feel like I'm going to do something great, lead something great, and everyone just isn't ready for me.

Ok picture a Thursday night sleepover with my best friend, Kim. First I should tell you my mom isn't a fan of Kim. She always calls her Kimberly and I can tell she just doesn't like her. I almost feel bad, because my mom looks at her with a condescending look as to say, "My daughter's smarter than you". Its not a lie, Kim is bright but not at my level. Still, she is a pretty good Erudite and my friend and I try to defend her but you can't really argue with my mom.

I guess this is the part where I have to explain exactly who my mother is. I try not to tell everyone because, well I don't want people to get the wrong idea. My mother, Jeanine Matthews, is the leader of Erudite. Now the reason I don't brag is because I don't want people asking for favors, or in turn think that I am getting special treatment for being the leader's daughter. Though I guess I have seemed to make out pretty well without that. I'll even go out on a limb and say that I am one of the most popular girls in Erudite. I'm a social butterfly but everyone who's close to me knows half of the real Chase, the cut throat, competitive Chase. What they don't know is the other side of Chase Matthew, the side who just wishes she had a remote and could just pause life for a second and take a break from all the pressure. Everything is always go go go and i sometimes just want to be a 15 year old girl and relax. The problem is that I have so much pressure. Everyone is looking to me to excel in school, and go the extra mile on everything when sometimes I don't even want to do my homework. That's unheard of as an Erudite, and if my mom found out I was even thinking that...

But still I keep going as the Chase everyone knows, the perfect Chase. And initiation is coming up and weirdly I still don't actually know what I want to do. But I've decided not to dwell on it and relax because my 16th birthday is this weekend anyways and I will be throwing an amazing party. The most amazing sweet 16 the world has ever seen...well maybe not the most amazing but it'll be fun.

Kim came into my room, wearing blue polka dot pajamas and a white tank top with a polka dotted bow on the corner. Kim is pretty, though I don't think she knows how pretty she is. Shes got long jet black hair that goes down to her back and the most interesting eyes. They're like a mint green, a color I can't describe in words.

"Hey Kimberly!" I said in a teasing voice imitating a 15 year old boy's voice. He tried to get Kim's number yesterday when she was walking home. He like whistled and called her name so she told me she just ignored him. If I were her I would've just flipped him off honestly.

Kim laughed, picking up one of my blue silk pillows and throwing it at me, hitting me in the head.

"Shut up Chase" she said back, moving over to my bed and sitting criss cross next to me.

"Don't hate the player Kim, hate the game,"I taunted.

Kim stuck her tongue out, laughing. "Ok Chase, plans for this weekend," she asked me. This weekend was my birthday weekend, and we were having a girls weekend out. My mom gave us a little apartment to rent and we're hang out and shop and, well flirt of course. Then Saturday night I'm going to have my party at the apartment with a few...we a lot of a few of my friends.

I wouldn't call myself a flirt or anything, but I've had my share of flirty guy friends and yeah some stuff happened but nothing serious.

"Well, mom got the apartment already so we're all set,"

"And what are we gonna do?"

"Kim what do you think we're gonna do?"

"Shopping!" She said grinning, we always go shop together, us and Katherine. But Katherine is on vacation or something with her parents.

"Yes, glad you figured that one out Kimberly" I said.

Kim rolled her eyes, throwing the pillow again and began to braid her black hair until a pretty side french braid. I watched and began to braid my own hair.

"Lets watch a movie or something." Kim suggested, getting up and looking through my draw of DVDs, lined up alphabetically of course. She always teased me about being so neat, she claims I have OCD or something.

"Sure," I said as she held up Mean Girls and I put it into my DVD player. Then I climbed up back on my loft bed and sat up high with Kim, watching the movie. Eventually I got tired and fell asleep right when Damian was saying that some girl "doesn't even go here!" I swear me and Kim have watched this movie so many time we know it by heart. Still, I was tired and fell asleep, ready for Friday.

Kim

Chase Matthews is and always will be my best friend, even know I'm not smart enough to be hers. I'm Kim, Kimberly Danica, the pretty sidekick to Chase. No one ever calls me that but thats what if feels like. She claims that as best friend's were equal, but we all know who's in charge in the friendship. It doesn't bother me, I'm more of a follower anyways.

I live here in Erudite with my mom and little sisters Khelssee and Kat, who I adore. My father died when I was younger, and maybe that's what brought me and Chase together, being fatherless. She doesn't even know what happened to him, her mom won't tell her. We both figure Channing knows but he won't say either. Channing's her older brother who she is always competing with and always complaining about. She could barely keep it in when she heard that he had gotten 2nd during initiation to some other genius boy. Chase told me she was glad he got second, that way when she gets first and I get second she would be better than her brother, and her mom would see me as equal to her son. I know that Chase felt bad for him, I could tell in her ice blue eyes that she felt bad. I know her too well. Her mom was furious though, but she didn't show it. Chase told me she was mad but she wasn't going to say admit it. I'm still unsure if she was mad at him, or the other boy but I never cared enough to ask her.

Me and Chase woke up at exactly 6:28, because Chase liked being exact and weird with numbers. School starts at 8 and me and Chase usually start walking her at 7:34, and we take our time and whatever.

The one thing about her mom was that she was super cool about sleepovers on school nights, as long as Chase kept up with her studies, nothing less than an A+. My mom was fine because she was quiet and wouldn't want to debate with me. I hate school though, because I feel like I can never keep up with Chase. I'm not stupid, I'm just not Erudite material. This matters because I'll be 16 in a few weeks and initiation is coming up and I'll have to choose. I'm still not sure where I will end up because I cannot decide where I seriously belong.

I know for a fact Abnegation is out. Like I'm not a selfish person or anything it's just that i think being selfless all the time would kill me. And then Dauntless scare me, like honestly the Dauntless are just a bunch of wild children with no constraints. Considering my greatest fear is being in the dark, I could never be a Dauntless. And Candor isn't awful but I'm not so much into telling everyone about my business. That leaves Erudite and Amity. I know that Amity is probably where I should go. I want to be an artist, something that would get laughed at in Erudite because art is not based on facts. Its not that they don't appreciate art, its just that if I were doing anything artistic in Erudite, it would be studying some theory about art and the brain or something stupid along those lines. I just want to paint, or draw or sketch. I know that Amity values things like art. Still, it would break me and my mother's heart if I were to leave her and my little sisters.

Me and Chase were ready and out the door by 7:34, as usual because Chase kept updating me on the time and made sure we left exactly then. We looked cute today, because Chase was passing out invites to her party of hers and we needed to look good. Chase usually doesn't care about stuff like this as much but this is her last chance before we're all 16 and then we can go our own way, though most of us are probably staying. I didn't think this would matter much to Chase but it makes me wonder if she would even consider leaving, because her mom would freak if she left.

I was wearing a short blue soild strapless dress that was tight and went to about my mid-thigh. I had on white heels and my hair was straightened and down. I actually looked pretty hot today, I had put more effort into it. Chase however tried to outdo me with her white pencil skirt and ber ice blue shirt that flared out at the hip. She added a cute necklace and curled her hair, looking admittedly pretty.

"You ready for today?" Chase asked me, turning to face me as we walked up the steps of the school.

"Of course, seriously it's going to be so much fun passing out invites. I can't believe you're actually doing this," I said turning to her. I thought the silver packaged invites were a little harsh but it seemed not to bother Chase, she said it made her party more of an event.

We walked in and went down the hallway until we got to our favorite back hall where we always met before class. On the way I swore I saw some kid try to pinch Chase's but and I saw her slap him. It was hilarious and I tried not to giggle.

"Chase, Kimberly" I heard, being greeted by Jayson Marrick, our friend who we all know has a crush on Chase. Chase claims she's not interested but I mean come on she flirts with him so much.

Jayson Marrick is a guy who I would label with trouble. He has dark brown hair and is always smirking. And he has these deep navy blue eyes, that always said I'm up to something but you can't prove what.

"Jayson" she said approaching him and winking. She went over and I watched him wrap his arms around her waist and I couldn't take seeing them. I left the two of them and went over to a few others.

Chase wasn't like a bad girl flirt or anything, actually I don't know if any of her past boyfriends went passed kissing, like no makeout sessions or anything. Chase was a pretty good girl, so that's why I thought the two of them would mean trouble.

Chase could do damage if she put her mind to it. This one time this girl started a rumor that I did it with Jordan Hilton and she practically ruined the girl's life. Not ruined, but ruined the girl's social credibility. Chase could be a bi**h if she wanted to. She had a quick temper you could call it.

"Hey Kendall," I said turning and waving to a brunette wavy haired petite doe faced girl, who was standing with Jordan. Jordan and I were pretty good friends, I mean i've known him since we were in diapers. He had dirty blonde hair and a mischievous look to him.

Jordan waved me over and I came, standing with the two of them.

"Kimberly, Kimberly. What's the occasion for the dress?" Jordan asked, obviously not noticing that all of the girls in our group we're dressing up.

Kendall giggled, "Jordan, Chase's birthday is the weekend, duh" she said, adjusting her cute glasses. Another thing I never got about Erudite, is that most of the people here wear glasses, and don't even need them. I know for a fact Chase has perfect vision but she still sometimes wears her glasses.

Jordan nodded, as if that made no sense to him at all but he was going to wing it.

"You guys excited about the party?" I asked them, knowing the obvious answer.

Kendall nodded, "Definitely excited," she said to me grinning.

Jordan laughed, "Yeah I guess, we dont have enough parties here in Erudite" he said which is so true. I nodded, and felt a pinch in my lower back and jumped startled, looking at two laughing faces. I turned around into Shane Burke.

"Sh-ane" I jokingly winned, playfully hitting him. Shane had an infatuation with me, but honestly I don't like guys who flirt with you, and then turn and flirt with 3 other girls and then come back and give you their number. Shane was one of those guys. He grabbed my waist.

"Kimberly what's up?" he asked smirking. I rolled my eyes and moved backwards.

"Nothing much Shane, but would you mind not hitting on me every second of the day?"

"Sorry Kimmy, no can do " he joked. We all know though, that he won't be staying in Erudite. He told us he's switching to Candor.

Chase came back over to us with Jayson, but his arm was around her waist. Now I like Jayson as a friend, he's funny and nice and super smart. But that's what bothers me, he's too smart and too handsome and I don't like the idea of him and Chase. I tried to tell her once but she said she was just flirting.

I pulled out my phone shooting her a text asking if they were together now. Less the 30 seconds later, I saw her reach for her phone and just send me a smiley face back. That confirmed it but I had nothing to do about it.

Then a few other's came over to talk with us and Chase and Jayson just kept glancing to each other the whole time and then Rachel just asked if they we're together now and she nodded and we all clapped and then we talked about the upcoming testing. That's another thing I hate about Erudite, we talk about school so much.

**Then the bell rang, sending us to our classes. Saved by the bell, I thought. **


	2. Find Your Thoughts

Chase

Deep breaths, contain excitement, foucsed face. I was beaming, ok like seriously glittering with excitement when I was walking back to my house with Kim to grab a few stuff before going to the apartnemt.

Kim walked with me, raising an eyebrow like she was wondering what I was thinking. "What?" I asked her laughing, flipping my blonde hair behind my ear.

Kim shrugged, "Jayson..." She said to me. I know that she has been uneasy about me dating Jayson, which is weird because we've all been friends for like 3 years and now all of the sudden she has a bad feeling about him. I almost think she's jelous, but I remember that Shane likes her and I think even Jordan has a crush on her but she won't date either of them.

I shrugged back, "Come on Kim be happy for me, Jayson and I have practically been dating for like the past year. That was partically true because we've had this sort of friendship flirtmance but nothing exactly was official.

Kim shrugged, "I have nothing agiasnt it Chase" she said, and I studied her face trying to remember what I leared from that Candor boy once, but I couldn't remember.

Kim laughed, "Your trying to see if I'm lying!" She accused grinning. She knew me too well and it sometimes sucked.

"No, I'm trying to see what you think of Jayson!" I said back, which still was a half truth.

Kim shook her head with a smug look. "Nope, not gonna happen."

I sighed, giving up because one thing she out did me on was stubborness. We could debate a point for days and Kim woukd never give it up.  
"Fine then, I just wont treasure my best friends opinion on my new boyfriend" i fired back, looking straight foreword like I didn't care.

Kim laughed and bit her lip as we came up to my house. I looked to her out of the corner of my eye.

"What?" I asked her, annoyed that she had such an amused look on her face.

"Your mom, what's she going to think" she said with the smugest look ever.

Now my mom was pretty easy going about relationships, as long as it didnt mess with school it was fine. I guess the point was that she still was picky on guys, she had standards and thinking about it, Jayson probably wouldnt pass.

I guess you could call him an Erudite troublemaker. Jayson was the type of guy that would come up with a big prank so brilliant and not get caught, because he was so smart. In some ways I admired his annoying luck and ability to outsmart authority. Still, he was charming and funny and fit all the criteria for my guy checklist, maybe not my moms.

I rolled my baby blue eyes, flipping my hair. "She can think whatever I don't care" I said, which she could tell was a lie. I have to admit I admire my mom. She's smart and strategic and everything I want to be when Im older. I wanna lead the faction like her.

Kimberly have me a look and burst out laughing, "Chase Matthews not wanting to listen to her mother...maybe Jayson is making you rebellious."  
I felt my eyes circle to the top of my head yet again before opening the door into my house.

My house was well, pretty nice. My mom and I actually had a lot of fun desgining it and stuff together. It was very clean line, with lots of grays and blues and choclate. I headed upstairs with Kim behind me before I was stopped by my moms voice.

"Chase come back downstairs"

I sighed, retreating backwards down to floor level and into tne kitchen where my mom was. Usually she's working but since it was Friday I knew the posdibility of her being home.

"Hey mom," I said swinging by the kitchen, letting Kim sneak upstairs without having to confront my mom.  
"Chase, be careful this weekend" she said to me but I saw this comming.  
"Yeah mom I know the drill, no sex no drugs just say no" I said sarcasticly bored, knowing thats not what she wanted to hear but I just wanted to go.  
"Chase," she said looking to me hard  
"I know I'm sorry I mean like I'll he carefull and stuff." I said, kissing her on the cheek and swiftly going back upstairs.  
"Oh and Chase"  
"Yeah?"  
"Kimberly told me that you were dating Jayson Marrick"  
Kim sucked, like seriously. I bit my lip and decided to play it causually.  
"Yeah he asked me out today, its fine mom I don't need the talk. I get it when a man loves a women s**t can happen and poof Jayson jr." I said causually, then I ran upstairs before further interrogations.

I opend my door to see Kim's smug face.  
"I hate you" I said as I closed the door.  
"Your welcome" Kim laughed as I came up to her and sat next to her.  
"Kim I swear If my mom..." I started before I heard a knock and Channing poped his head through the door.  
Channing looked like me I guess, but like 2 years older with a bigger build.  
"What Chan?" I asked with an annoyed look at the smirk on his face. He was my brother and he loved to bug me.  
"Jayson Marrick" he simply said letting the letters roll of his tounge.  
I glared, picking up a pillow and throwing it at the door while Kim and Channing laughed.  
"Cute sis cute" he said before closing the door. Channing had his own apartment now, but sometimes hed hang around the house.

I think the only reason he hangs around is to annoy me. He's 17 and single, so it's not like he's always with his girlfriend. I know he has a few good friends, but they almost never come to the house so it never fazed me. But me and Channing have been competing since I could walk, well maybe the competition of who said their first words first, or who learned how to crawl first. Everything in my family was a competition and so outside of the family, we were expected to be better then everyone else.

Anyways,having my best friend take his side was seriously not cool. "Kim, you shut up" I said to her laughing hearing my phone buzz and getting a text from Jayson that read  
See u soon babe ;)  
I was confused until I heard a nock on my window.

Jayson

Life is seriously just a video game and everyone can be used to get you ahead. Now don't read this the wrong way and think Im like some douche player, because I'm not. I just know everyone can be used.

I'm Jayson Marrick, girls call me Jayson teachers call me Marrick. If I had to describe my amazingness in three words it would be sexy strategic and smarter then you. Sorry my bad thats 5 words. Wait not sorry. Heres a tip sayings sorry is like admitting you have no pride.

I nocked on my gifriend's window with a grin on my face. Chase was hot, I knew she was because we've been best friends for years. When your best friends with a girl you see every side of her. I've been for her through it all, the school work, the brother problems, the hormones. Hormones suck.

Being best friends with a girl is hard. Well not hard just work. Chase and I met a long time ago, I can't remember. My parents have a high up job in Erudite so they know her mom. Ever since we've been inseparable and I have had a serious crush on her. But it's hard because she's my best friend and sometimes I have to be there to beat guys up that try to mess with her. Kidding, but I have had to defend her before, but logically not physically. We had a debate for class together, so I guess that counts.

"Hey babe" I winked as she opened the window for me and I climbed through, holding her close and kissing her forehead. I saw Kim roll her eyes and I put my middle finger up for her, to tell her to get over herself.

I wasn't sure what her problem has been lately. Ever since me and Chase started openly flirting and going out, she's been avoiding me. I didn't even know what I do, I hate it so much when girls are like mad at you and you know you didn't even do anything wrong.

Chase gave me that perfect smile of hers and laughed. Then her face changed . "Jayson what are you doing here seriously?" She asked me.

I shrugged, "I don't know I wanted to see you and then I thought your mom wouldn't let me in..."

Kim muttered "For a good reason" and we both turned and gave her a look.

"So I climbed through up to your window," I said, more to her breasts then her face but I don't think she noticed.

Chase grinned and shook her head at me and I chuckled. She was so funny when she tried to act mad at me.

"Jayson, thats so sweet but" she started but I didn't let her finish. I pulled her closer an began caressing her neck, making her giggle.

Kim cleared her throat, "Un yeah Chase we gotta go, girls weekend" she said annoyed as Chase pulled away.

Chase sympatheiticly nodded, "Yeah Jace were going to my apartment this weekend before the party and I promised Kim some girl time." She said to me, searching my face to make sure I wasn't disappointed. I shrugged.

"Its cool babe, I gotta roll anyways." I said kissing her cheek. "Ill catch you later Chase" I said to her before turning around and walking back outside to her balcony. She had one of those cool princess things you see in movies so I had just climbed up that.

Chase waved "Later Jayson"

I nodded before retreating back, landing in the side of her yard. I didn't know where to go next. I was used to having a lot of time to myself, I did this kinda thing a lot. I'm a 15 year old guy and like most guys, I like my freedom. Like I said, I don't think of myself as some sort of rebel, I'm just smarter then everyone else and have a way of strategically doing things.

Causing trouble is fun, because its a game. I'm used to everything always coming to me so easy so it's kinda like a challenge. "How many things can I steal before getting caught. What's the best way to do this without getting noticed. I always give everything back, its more for the fun of doing it. The problem is when word gets around that I broke into a store and then I get the reputation of a bad guy. I'm not really that bad.

But still, like most teenage boys sometimes judgement gets the best of me and I do make some crappy choices. Its not my fault, blame it on evolution of boys.

I decided to grab a burger or something. I called Diilan and Shane to see if they wanted to meet up. They were both busy, I didn't care. I went over to Zing Burger myself, ordering a double cheeseburger with bacon.

As I was eating, facing the window I saw a girl come in with light aburn hair. She was hot, she had a skinny waist and was alone so I waved her over.

She came over smiling, "Hey, Jayson right?"

I didn't know how she knew me, she looked older so not in school. I gave her a nod.

"I know your brother, Jaxson." I smiled, recognizing her finally.

She was Angela Jones, my brother's ex-girlfriend before he switched to Candor.

"Angie!" I said to her giving her one of my signature looks.

Anglea giggled "What brings you here Jayson? Where's your girlfrienf?" she asked me looking around. She didn't know I was dating Chase, but I usually did have a girlfriend so she was on track.

"Chase has a sleepover or something" I said to her.

"Chase Matthews?" She asked "Wow your dating now...we all saw it coming." NowI wasn't sure how she knew Chase. Chase was popular in school, but most people didn't know her mom and their relation.

"How do you know her?"

"Her brother and I dated before I dated Jaxson" she said simply.

I nodded, Channing was a good guy.

"Well if your lonely you can eat with me," I said, patting the seat next to me with a grin. She sat down, and I snuck a peak, checking her out. She was hot, Jax was picky with his girlfriends.

"Here" I said, pushing over some of my fries for us to share. I picked one up and fed her a fry.

Anglea laughed, opening her mouth for me to feed her another.

Just because I was taken, didn't mean I couldn't have some fun.

Kim

I sighed as me and Chase walked to the apartment we rented, carrying a few things from her house.

Chase looked over to me. "i knew it! I knew you don't like him!" Chase said like she had an aha moment.

Kim laughed and rolled my eyes,"Fine you caught me, was it my ever so obvious eye rolls or was it Jayson flipping me off?" I teased.

Chase shrugged it off," Why don't you like him? We've all been friends for years and now all of the sudden you just hate him?"

"I don't hate him Chase, I just don't think he's right for you. You need a good guy Chase, Jayson's the type of guy that will break your heart."

Jayson had dated so many girls its hard to count. And even when he's taken he still flirts like it's his hobby. We both know that, he's told us so many stories and we've laughed. I just don't think it will be funny anymore when Chase is crying on my shoulder.

Chase rolled her eyes "We've been best friends since diapers, Jayson won't break my heart." she reassured, and closed the topic.

"You excited for the party?" I asked, lightening the mood.

Chase nodded, "Yes speaking of after we drop this stuff off I need you to help me pick out some decorations. Your the artsy one anyways"

Chase was right, art was my passion. I painted all the time and my bedroom was a product of that. I had painted my name on the wall and decorated each letter with something that described me. One day after initiation, I want to paint my whole wall with something amazing.

"Yeah I'll help. I'm thinking pink and blue right?"

Chase nodded "Yeah and gold and sparkles."

"Sparkles? Chase Matthews asked for sparkles?"

"Forget the blue, pink gold silver and sparkles. This is a sweet 16 Kimberly go big or go home!" She said grinning.

"Thats what Im taking about Chase" I said as we approached the apartment. When we got there we put the stuff down before leaving. It was a blank slate, all white. Me and Chase could paint it together.

"First stop party store!" I said to her. There was this adorable boutique that had a ton of stuff for parties and stuff. It was really expensive but Chase's mom gave her a pretty big budget. I guess Chase turning 16 and all her mom is trying to bribe her into staying in Erudite. We can all tell Chase is having second thoughts and so her mom's being pretty nice these days so that she stays.I think all of our parents are doing that, they can't bare to lose us.

We walked around a bit, picking out various things for the apartment. We had filled up the cart when we got to the tablewere.

"Ok square plates are in" I explained not noticing her looking at me.

"You really think Jace would break my heart?" She asked. I knew that she cared for my opinion, as I do her's. That's our relationship, one won't do something if the other didn't approve. We look out for each other.

I nodded, "I love Jayson, I seriously do. But he's bad news Chase."

Chase said nothing and kept picking out napkins to go with my plates. I could tell she was thinking, she always bit her pink lip when she was thinking. I knew she wasn't going to listen to me. It was fine.

**But sometimes the advice we don't take are the ones we need the most.**


	3. Find Your Love

Chase

I snuck out. I did. I snuck out to see my boyfriend because I could. Kim was sleeping in her room and I took the keys and left.

After we shopped me and Kim went and got frozen yogurt and met some guys. We joked around, exchanged numbers and went back here. We painted and decorated some before going back to our rooms to sleep. Once she was sleeping I left. I'm 15 and almost 16, which meant I had a permit, I could drive soon I just had some restrictions.

I went and drove, pulling up to the midsized house Jayson lived in. It was a charming house made of brick. It had a manicured lawn which his mother kept up with. I pulled out my phone, my fingers hovering over the buttons. Then I sent him a text and seconds later I felt a vibration and I knew he had responded. I didn't have a chance to respond before he was already out the window, climbing over to a near tree and then jumping down next to me.

Jayson came over giving me a smirk, raising his eyebrow but not saying anything he pulled my waist and kissed me. Hard. Harder then any guy had kissed me before, but I liked it. I felt the kiss turn into something more. First it was sweet but then the kissed started to move from my lips, to my neck.

"Jayson" I whispered to him softly

Jayson smirked giving me one last kiss before looking at my face again. "What are you doing here?"

I shrugged, "I just wanted to see you. Tomorrow I'll"

Jayce caught me mid sentence, placing his finger to my pink innocent lips. He studied me for a second.

"Your beautiful Chase"

My cheeks flushed rose pink and I saw him chuckle. It was dark out anyways so we looked like two nearly invisible figures.

"I mean, truley, truley beautiful" his fingers becan to move from my hips to a bit higher before I felt his warm hands feeling my stomach.

"Jayson" I said warningly, only to just be ignored.

He began to trace tiny kisses again, smirking and not hearing my comments.

"Babe, babe stop" I said to him. Now I was no good girl, but I did want to keep everything well, appropraite. Especially since my mom eventually heard about everything their were no secrets in Erudite when it came to me.

Jayson continued, moving slightly lower. I sighed, knowing I couldn't let it get farther.

"Jayson stop it!" I said sharply, pulling away. I looked to him, first his face was startled, then confused then angry.

"What Chase? Stop what? All I do is kiss you and you already stop me! Do you not feel that way for me?" He looked frustruated, but the gleam in his eye said it all, that he was thinking a step ahead.

"No Jayce, I like you a lot you know that but can't we just..."

Jayson sat down. I sat next to him, moving closer.

"Don't be mad or anything I just.. i just"

Jayson shook his head, "I've been waiting for you Chase. I've had a crush on you since we were 6, I've always been there when you were upset. Hell, I was there when you were 13 and PMSing. And now finally you agree to date me and I feel like you don't even like me as much as I like you."

I paused and bit my lip looking down. I leaned into him and I felt in arm wrap around me. I sighed, "Im sorry Jayce, I feel the same way I do. I came out here tonight so its obvious. I just know initiation's coming up, and I'm gonna be 16 tomorrow, and I just don't want to take things too far.

Jayson sighed, hugging me. "It's fine," he said before patting my back and standing up. "You gotta get back anyways, you drove?"

I nodded standing up, "Yeah, I guess I should go."

I hugged him and he kissed my cheek before I turned to my car and left. The drive back was going to give me a lot of time to think.

Jayson

I waved as she drove away in her silver Mercedes before scratching the back of my neck and going back inside. I wasn't sure how I fas feeling about the whole thing.

I knew she was right, that killed me. We were always competing and I hated when she was right. But that was the thing about Chase, she was pretty and intelligent.

I laid back in my bed, hearing my dad snore from the other room. I couldn't go back to sleep, all I could think about was when we were kissing. I loved her, well I guess I did but it was hard, because we just started dating. But I felt like I've loved her since we were 6, well maybe a little older.

The problem was initiation. I had my mind made up, but I wasn't sure what she was doing, she refused to talk about it. She claimed it was a "touchy subject" for her, but it was touchy for all of us.

My mind wandered to Kim. I was actually a little hurt by her all of the sudden anger at me. It was hard, she had a point. I've broken hearts before, but not intentionally. I always end up saying the wrong thing and making them upset.

Kim and I had been friends almost as long as Chase and I. We were close, but not like as the three of us. Me and Kim had some good laughs, she was good with feelings, someone I could come to vent about. I admired that about her sometimes, that she was there for us. Once she made a friend it was like a commitment. She never let them down, and always tried to make them happy, kinda like a people pleaser.

I still couldn't do it. I couldn't drift my mind off into the indescribable world of sleep, in which you don't remember most of so as humans, it would be hard to see other's dreams. That's what my paper would be I decided, dreams.

Then I thought about Chase. Now I said I've seen every side of her, but not every side and not at the same time. Yes, those thoughts were coming. I couldn't help these thoughts I felt guilty for, because I know it would upset her for me to think of her this way.

Then I drifted off, I was tired and soon asleep. Sleep is peaceful, sleep is rejuvenating.

Sleep is a strange time, its where I can show vulnerability.


	4. Find Your Words

Chase

I love you, I love you, I love you. When can you say it and have it mean something? I'm not sure, and I don't know if I can say those words.

Kim should never suspect a thing, I was too good for climbing out of windows and sneaking around. You only did sh*t like that if you were desperate. Was I desperate?

Another turn of events as I woke up was that it just hit me that I was 16 now. And with being 16 came great responsibility...and I was going to procrastinate some more on that. Good things come to those who wait right? Good answer Chase, way to justify avoiding something you know your gonna have to figure out sooner or later. i choose later.

"Morning sleepyhead, Happy Birthday" I was taunted to as I came into the kitchen, patting down my blonde bee hive.

"Thanks, and whatever Kim, how'd you sleep?"

"Good, how did you sleep Chase? Did you get enough hours?" She raised a plucked black eyebrow and I started to bite my pink lip. Sometimes Kim was smarter then I gave her credit for.

"Yup, teen's only need like 7 hours anyways" I sat down at the counter next to her.

Kim smirked, "Well, you left your phone on the table and Jayson called."

I paled, "What did he say?"

Kim laughed, "Hmm something along the lines of," she changed, lowering her voice inna humorous guy impression, "Hey, um Chase, yeah its Jayce, I couldn't sleep last night thinking of you. I want to talk to you but I know you have a party and all and um yeah we can talk then. Oh and yeah happy birthday...bye"

I giggled, it was pretty cute. "Ok, well we need to finish getting set up and then we need to change!" I said excitedly. Tonight I was breaking the rules, in Erudite you must wear an article of blue but tonight, I had a pink dress and I was going to wear it.

"Yes I know, lucky for you while you sleep I finished, so we can just get dressed and ready, the food's already set to deliver.

I smiled hugging her, "Your the best Kim, really."

I was so lucky to have her. Sometimes I would just break down from stress and I just needed a friend to be there. Jayce was good, but sometimes it had to be a girl to get the message across. Kim was like my sister. Sometimes I wished as a girl that I would have a sister, but I thought about it and I had Kim.

My phone rung, it was Channing and I sighed still grinning.

"What?" I asked him, being harsh but only because it was him.

"Hmm grumpy on your birthday much sis?"

"What do you want Chan?"

He cleared his throat and I could tell he was smirking. I put it on speaker and he gave the funniest rendition of Happy Birthday I have ever heard. It wasn't like he was trying hard to sing, he was doing the opposite. It was so terribly toned-deaf and on purpose. I laughed so hard I started to cry. Maybe because it was my birthday, maybe it really was that funny.

"Ok love you Chase, and please drink responsibly at your party" he teased.

"Channing!"

He chuckled, "Bye birthday girl" he said before hanging up.

I sighed, "Ok I'm gonna shower and"

"Not so fast," She had a smug look on her face and I remembered she knew.

"What?" I played dumb, which was hard for me. I swore my facial muscles couldn't even do a super cute and stupid look.

"You went out to see Jay-son"

I shrugged, getting up. "What? No!" I denied, but I wasn't doing a good job, there was no use if she already figured it out.

Kim laughed, "I get it Chase, you snuck out to go see your "long time " boyfriend because I was sleeping and you knew that it would drive me insane if I knew you left."

Yup, she was smarter then I gave her credit for.

"Fine, but how did you know?" I asked, then I brought my voice down to a whisper, as if someone else could be listening, "I went through my window!"

Kim chuckled, "Easy Chase, you always wake up at 9:19 on the weekends and it's 10:13, your 54 minutes behind schedule. Then I wondered what kept you up, and I realized Jayson called your phone and mentioned last night, so it all clicked. Busted!" She crossed her arms with a smirk and I had to give her credit, even I didn't know that I was 54 minutes behind, but I guess she had a point, I always woke up the same time, I liked consistancy.

"Fine Kim, you win. I snuck out to spend time with Jayce, but it doesn't matter because I think he's mad at me anyways."

Kim looked to me,"What happend?"

"We started kissing, and then a little more then kissing and I told him we gotta take it easy and be careful because stuff happens and then he got kinda mad but he said he wasn't"

"Well, how did you know he was upset?"

"He told me he'd been waiting for me ever since we were kids, I think like 6 years old or something? And how he'd been for me the entire time and how now we're together he can't even kiss me without me getting upset and I don't know I feel really guilty." I did, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt Jayson's feelings.

Kim shrugged," I don't know he's probably over it, guys are weird and stuff."

I laughed, "Fine your right, he's probably over it. This is weird to me, like I don't know this is the first guy that I'm dating that I actually really like."

"What about Marcus last year?"

I shrugged, I dated him for a few weeks, but when your 14 how serious can you get?

"Didn't you and Jordan date?"

"Again, for like a month."

"I guess, your right."

I smirked, "I'm always right Kim my dear."

Kim rolled her eyes, "Whatever, go get ready birthday girl."

I laughed before heading back to my room to get ready for my party.

Jayson

I was waiting in her room when she came back in. I smiled and she turned around and jumped.

"Jayson!" Chase shrieked and I laughed, walking towards her and putting my arm around her.

"Hey Birthday Girl"

"You've got to stop scaring me like that! What if I came in and I wasnt wearing a shirt or something!"

I chuckled, "Then I would be very lucky" I said before leaning in and kissing her, replacing my arms on her waist. I felt her kiss me back and let my tounge hit the top of her lip, asking her to French Kiss me.

We kissed for a bit before she pulled away again, and I sighed. "What Chase?"

She shook her head, "Nothing, but I need to get ready look I'm not even dressed yet."

She looked pretty cute for being in her pajamas, she had on some cute white pajama shorts and a blue tank top. Her hair was in a messy bun on the top of her head and she wasn't even wearing makeup.

"Beautiful" I whispered, before going back over to sit on her bed. "So Birthday Girl what's it like being 16?"

"Hell" she said back with a smirk, going into her closet and grabbing a siliver brush as she unravled her pony tail.

I chuckled, "Aw come on you must have 1 positive of 16"

Chase shrugged, "I can drive? Happy?"

"Nope, you've had a permit anyways. You've been driving. Next!"

Chase laughed, "I dont know!"

I shook my head, "Nope, I won't leave until you come up with something."

Chase crossed her arms, her lips forming a very cute pout. "Fine, hmm I like being 16 because I can have a sweet 16 party...which I have to get ready for so can you please leave!" She asked laughing, and jokingly trying to push me out.

"Aw come on please? Let me stay just for a bit, then I'll go home and change into my sweatpants"

Chase gave me a look, "Jayson Marrick I swear if you show up to my party in sweatpants I will ring your neck"

I rubbed my neck, "Ouch violent much? Maybe you need some stress relief let me help"

I went over behind her massaging her back. "Feel that? Its your stress and anger flowing away"

Chase laughed, "I'm not stressed or angry Jayce, I just need to get dressed. If Kim came in right now this would look pretty sketchy.

I chuckled, "True, but your relaxing so I'm just being helpful. Like a bridesmaid with pre wedding jitters"

Chase flat out laughed at that one, "Pre wedding jitters? Its a birthday party Jayson not my wedding"

"I know its an analogy, I'm just showing you how helpful I am."

Chase laughed moving away from me and I smirked. "What?" I asked her.

Chase shrugged, "If you want me come get me" she probed, moving towards her window and I had to laugh. Of corse that wasn't my best move because by then Chase was already outside the apartment. I sighed, climbing out.

"Ok we're outside happy?"

Chase nodded, "mhm," she said before coming back and kissing me softly. I kissed her back, not wanting to kiss her hard.

"Ok what are you suggesting we do outside the apartment?"

Chase shrugged, "There's a little pond out back,"

"Swimming?"

Chase nodded, "Sorry I left my bikini inside but yes, I wanna get in the water. I felt like she was hinting towards something. Water was the sign for Erudite. I shrugged it off, I didn't want to bring up the subject yet.

"Fine lets go in"

Chase was already underwater by the time I got my shirt off. I jumped in, "Are we even aloud in here?"

Chase shrugged, "Doubt it" she responded with a smirk.

I chuckled, wrapping my arms around her, "Hmm Chase Matthew's breaking the rules. Sounds like something I would do."

Chase sighed, "Why does everyone think I'm so good and perfect?"

I wasn't sure the right answer here. I wanted to tell her she was perfect, but in turn I wanted to tell her that she wasn't. This is why having a girlfriend who was your best friend was so complicated.

Chase shrugged, "Forget it" I could tell she was sensing I didn't know what to say.

"No no Chase, it's just. Your not perfect, your just perfect to me." I said with a strange look.

Chase gave me a look back before grinning, "Im not perfect, yet you think I'm perfect?"

I scratched the back of my neck. "Well, you know?"

Chase laughed, "Jayson Marrick, the Erudite trouble maker is tongue tied?"

I chuckled again, "Fine you win, but I'm not a trouble maker, I have strategic mischief." I explained, but she wasn't listening, she was hugging me.

"What did I do to deserve hugdome?"

"Nothing, I just need a hug and your the only one here so..."

I laughed, "Oh so now I'm like your last choice of hugs?"

"Noo...Its just there are people above you on the latter of hugging"

I sighed, "Whatever Chase,"

Chase laughed before looking to me, "I really have to get ready now, I'll text you?"

I nodded, "After your dressed we can talk on the phone, or Skype or something."

She shook her head, "You can't see me until the party."

"Ha! Just like a wedding!"

She rolled her gorgeous blue eyes that could just make me melt. "Bye Jayce" she said before going underwater and swimming back to shore, getting out of the water. She waved and then went inside her window.

Chase was...I couldn't describe it.

Kim

I love birthdays. It's an excuse to have a party and dress up and everything. It's just hard, because it's not my party it's Chase's. Now I'm not like the type who's secretly jealous on birthdays, that was Chase. But it still stunk that the whole day I would be seen as a sidekick. i guess that's something I think about a lot. That I feel like sometimes I'm constrained and I can't make my own descions, because I'm always compared or I'm always trying to be good enough for Chase, or my mom, or even the guys at school. Which is stupid because I could have a boyfriend if I wanted one. The real reason I don't is that I don't want to have to constantly feel like I'm not good enough for him or whatever. I think that's what Chase thinks about her mom, if she found a way to step on everyone else then her mom would be proud. The problem is when she steps on her friends in the process. I...just vented didn't I? Sometimes it felt good to rant.

Anyways, I got ready for the party. It was a gray dress, with sparkles all on the bottom covering the gray pencil skirt. Then the top was this gray flowey fabric that was of the left shoulder. Then i paired it with silver heels and a blue necklace. I even kept my hair straight and put on makeup. I wanted to look pretty for the party. I decided that this party was going to be pretty important, I needed to find something. I figured that through it something big would happen.

I waited for Chase in the kitchen until she came out wearing an adorable hot pink dress that had beading in the front and then a pink sash in the middle with a flower in the center. The skirt that flowed out at the bottom. She curled her hair and was beaming. I was happy for her, you only get to have your sweet sixteen once.

"Hey Chase you look amazing"

"Seriously so do you"

I laughed, "Ok whatever, because it took us so long to be this amazing...we have exactly 20 minutes before I'm pretty sure everyone will come. "

"I said 8?"

"Yeah its 6 and I'm pretty sure no body cares about what time the invite says."

"Fine, I guess we have like no time to hang out before the party what took us so long?"

I knew something was up, there was no way that it took Chase like 6 hours to get ready. "Jayson."

Chase sighed,"Seriously, how did you even know this time i was quiet!"

I laughed, "Chase come on ever since you two decided to finally make it official you've been obsessing over him."

She sighed again, I knew I was right. "Ok fine, but what were you doing the whole time?"

I rocked back and forth. What I was doing was technically no better then her. I was talking to Shane.

"Um...TV?" I was never a good liar.

"Ha! You were with a boy too!" Another thing, as well as I knew Chase, She knew me too well too.

"Maybe..."

"Hm...Not Jordan, you guys are just friends. Not Spencer...Shane! You were with Shane Burke!"

I turned pink, "Fine you caught me! Shane and I were skyping."

Chase sat down next to me, "Good tell all."

It was actually a long story.

Before I started thinking about parties and being a third wheel and whatever, I was thinking about myself. More importantly initiation. Thats when Shane called my computer and I hit accept. I didn't know what i was in for.

"Hey Kimberly"

I sighed, and began to brush out my hair with my blue hairbrush. "Shane? What's up?"

"I called for some advice."

"I swear if it's girl advice I'm going to shoot you."

"It's not seriously, It's about initiation," That was something nobody had wanted to talk about. I still didn't know myself.

"Ok shoot" I looked at the screen now to see Shane in his room, door closed.

"I don't know what to do, I don't want to act on impulse and make a stupid descion."

I had a weird look on my face, I was surprised he confined in me, I needed advice myself. "I, well...think about how your life is going to be in a year after initiation is over. You want to be happy. Not somewhere you choose because someone else is there. It's not like you'll never see that person again." I grinned surprised at my advice, I should really consider using my own.

Shane nodded," I want to switch to Candor," he blurted

I nodded, a little surprised, "Why don't you?"

"My family, my friends, you?"

I paused, he really did care about me and it just hit me. "Why me Shane? I'm the sidekick remember?"

Shane shook his head, "Not to me, I think of you as Kim, not the sidekick."

I shook my head" No Shane, honestly I'm never gonna be good enough to not be a side kick. I just can't make up my mind about my own decisions. I want to switch too, but then I don't want to leave Chase and Katherine and my family. And I don't even know how to just switch because I feel like everyone wants me here in Erudite but I'm too stupid for Erudite and I really should be in Amity!"

That came out fast and instantly I felt bad for putting him on the spot and venting like that."I'm sorry I just..."

He shook his head, "If I were there I could kiss you right now."

I laughed, my face turned bright pink "Ok so what's my advice?"

"The same you gave me. In a year your not going to be happy here, you need to switch Kim. Your family will understand trust me." And I did, I actually trusted Shane.

"Thanks"

"Welcome. And now that we both decided we're switching, I guess now we can be a couple until we switch?"

I shrugged, why not." Sure Shane, we might as well."

So yes, that's what I was doing, spending time with my now boyfriend because I might as well. I didn't want to tell Chase that though, I wanted to surprise her at the party. So i shrugged. " I was talking to Shane about the party."

I was never a good liar. Chase knew that. "Liar!"

I shrugged,"Whatever, but I'm not telling you."

I was good at being stubborn.

Chase laughed, "Fine you will tell me soon though. It's my birthday I deserve everything I want!" she joked, but Chase wasn't the spoiled princess type.

"Fine, soon."

**Good things come to those who wait, and some of us were just impatient. **


	5. Find Your Ground

Chase

I guess you could say the beginning of the party was everything a girl could want in a Sweet 16 Party. No parents, loud music, everyone dressed up. It was nice.

The music was loud, and I swore I couldn't hear myself thinking. Everyone show'd up, and a few brought friends. The party wasn't like overly large. Nothing that would cause someone to call the cops or anything. I didn't have any beers or anything, but I could tell someone had brought something. I didn't really care, everyone here in Erudite was smart enough to know their limits on drinking. That's why I stuck to water.

"Happy Birthday Chase!" Kendal said coming up to me and giving me a quick hug. Jordan was not long behind her, hugging me too.

"Thanks, and have you guys seen Shane or Jayson?"

They both smirked, "Well Shane is with Kim right now and Jayce is in the living room. I think he's looking for you." Jordan explained.

I nodded,"Thanks guys"

"I think you and Jayson are cute together" Kendall said winking, before walking away. Jordan chuckled.

"You and Marrick, interesting"

I sighed, "Not you too!"

"What?"

"Kim think's he's gonna break my heart or something!"

Jordan made a face like he was considering it. "She has a point, he's not nessiarly Mr. Perfect boyfriend material"

"What's that supposed to mean!"

He chuckled,"I don't know, forget it"

I rolled my eyes at him, "Fine Jordan,"

Jordan and I have been pretty good friends for a while. But never anything more. We both didn't feel that way. But he was funny, and supportive so he was a good friend to complain to, he'd tell you to suck it up and get over it. I think his exact words one day were "Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it". I had to love his honesty. He was going to make a good Candor.

"Go find him" he nudged me.

I nodded,"I probably should."

I turned to leave before looking at Jordan again, "Thanks for everything Jordan"

He just chuckled and nodded, holding his pink solo cup of who knows what. I left and went to find my boyfriend.

I found Jayson sitting on one of the couches holding a cup and he motioned me over.

I grinned and went over to him.

"Hey birthday girl"

I rolled my eyes, "Its only my birthday for a few more hours Jayce, then I'll just be Chase again."

I heard the thumping music behind me and it was almost distracting.

Jayce patted the seat next to him, "Ok babe let's actually talk now. First, you look amazing"

I had been busy the whole party do far that I just realized he just saw me since we had went swimming. "Thanks, you clean up nice"

Jayce chuckled, "I always look this good Chase, you just began to notice."

I sighed, "Maybe, but then same can be said for me, I always look this good."

Jayce nodded, "You do Chase, you always look amazing. Even when your hair looks like it did this morning"

I playfully hit is head, "Shut up," I said, but I know he was only kidding.

"Fine, sorry" he said raising his hands in mock defense.

I laughed, looking around at the perfection of this night. Seriously, I didn't know how much better it could get. Jayson got up.

"Let go somewhere private, your room?"

I bit my lip but nodded. He took my hand and we zig zagged through the crowd of people. "Ok were here. You wanted to talk?"

Jayson nodded, "Mhm..." He said grabbing my waist and kissing me. That was definitely not talking, unless if you counted moaning as words. We kissed a bit more before he started to move towards the bed, moving his kisses a bit lower. I stopped.

"Jayce I went through this I'm serious."

He sighed, I could tell he was frustrated with me yet again. "Why Chase? Why not?"

I sighed "Because maybe I just don't want to ok? Can't you respect that?"

He said nothing, then he spoke again,"Did I do something wrong?"

I sighed again "No Jayson, I just don't want to do it at 16 and then end up 16 and Pregnant why don't you get that?"

He shook is head, "No, because we'll be careful! Nothing can happen!"

I shook my head a hot tear in my eye, "Why aren't you listening to me. I. Don't. Want. To."

He took one more huff, sitting down on the bed.

I changed the subject, "So what else is on your mind?"

"Initiation" this is why I shouldn't of said anything. He knew that was a touchy subject for me. I said nothing.

"I think I'm switching." He said quietly.

I swear my jaw literley must of dropped because he wouldn't look me in the eye.

"Where?" I said, barley above a whisper.

"Dauntless."

I sighed, "Your leaving me?"

He shook his head, "No I want you to switch with me."

I couldn't believe it. I said nothing, now I couldn't look at him.

"I love you Chase Matthews" he whispered.

I paused, unable to say it back anymore. Maybe earlier, but now?

"How can you just say that to me Jayson? You just say hey leave your family and friends and everything and oh by the way I love you?"

He shrugged, "I mean it, we can go to Dauntless, do amazing and then we can live together."

I shook my head standing up, "Jayson, you can't just expect me to leave factions!

He looked hurt, "Why not?"

"Well maybe because I like it here? Or I don't want to leave my family?"

He shook his head, "We all know it's a lie, you want to switch!"

I knew he was right, but he had no right to tell me weather or not to switch. "Maybe I don't! Maybe I'm staying here!"

He shook his head, "No, you want to leave it here. You hate the pressure and you want to go somewhere where you can get your ass kicked for once so that you feel human"

"You have no right to say what I want!"

"Well since you can't tell any of us because you don't even know yourself, you should thank me for helping you"

"Helping me?"

"Yes, I made your mind up for you,"

I sighed, "Yeah you did. I'm moving anywhere with you Jayson" I got up and went to the connected bathroom, slamming the door Behind me.

"Your not good enough for Dauntless anyways!" He called out.

I sat on the floor, and quietly began to cry. I couldn't believe what had just happened. He pretty much got mad at me for having morals, and then wondered when I got upset because I didn't want my choices made for me! Then he just decided I wasn't worthy anymore of his soon to be new faction. And to make things worse, he used the "I love you" card to guilt me into it but we have been dating for like 3 days! I took a breath, keeping my face in my hands. I just needed a few Jayson free minutes and then we could talk it over.

Jayson

I nocked on the door 12 times, I counted. "Chase open up I'm not kidding" I didn't say I'm sorry though. It wasn't my fault that she A) wouldn't do it with me, B) hates it when we bring up initiation and C) can't make up her mind.

I was annoyed actually. I've done nothing wrong and then she just gets mad at me! This is why I don't like having girlfriends. I shrugged, "I'll be outside then."

She didn't say anything back, that's how I knew she was pi**ed. When Chase was angry at me she would snap back at me with something harsh. However, when she was seriously pi**ed, she wouldn't say anything to you. You would just have to sit there and wonder what you did wrong.

Then I left. I had no purpose to stand around waiting for her, I had my own life too. I went around back in the party and if anyone asked where she was, I said I didn't know. I wasn't going to feel bad either, like I said. I did nothing wrong and saying I'm sorry meant admitting you lost your pride.

I saw Angie over with a blonde friend and I went over to them.

"Look who it is, Marrick's back" Angela said grinning at me.

"Hey Angie, wats up?" I asked leaning back on the wall next to her.

"Nothing, where's your girlfriend?"

"Haven't seen her" see? Lying wasn't that hard.

Angie shrugged,"Well, I guess you can chat with me until we see her."

I nodded, "So Angela, What have you been doing lately."

"Nothing," she giggled, "Well actually me and Jenna have been doing a test actually"

I raised my eyebrow amused, "And that would be?"

"Who's the best kisser in Erudite" Jenna blurted out, giggling and fixing her black rimmed glasses, tucking a strand of her golden hair behind her ear.

I chuckled, "Wow, you girls can always find an excuse to kiss in Erudite can't you?"

Angela nodded, "Yup, its an "experiment"." she paused, "You wanna be in it?"

I shrugged, one kiss couldn't hurt anything. "Sure, It's for the good of science so why not?"

That was my mistake, because as I kissed Angela it was the worst timing I could have. My girlfriend, well ex-girlfriend from the look on her face, he came out and saw us kissing. I pulled away quickly and went after her, but something told me I was too late. Why not? Because doing stupid stuff catches up with you sooner or later. Karma's a bi*ch.

"Chase!" I said , grabbing her arm.

She shrugged it pulling away, but I had her cornered so she turned around. "What so you want Jayson?"

"Look I'm sorry It seriously wasn't what it looked like!"

"I don't really care why you were kissing her Jayson, you were kissing her. That's all that matters."

I sighed, running a finger through my hair, "Chase I said I was sorry can we just forget it?"

"No we can not "just forget it?" It's my freaking birthday and your kissing another girl. So now Jayce I will not forget it."

She had a valid point, I was being a bit douchey on her 16th birthday.

"Look, I forgave you! I'm not even mad at you anymore."

"Mad at me? What the hell did I do wrong?"

I shrugged, thinking that explaining it to her would sound even worse. She refused ti have s*x with me and then she got mad when I tried to help her figure out her initiation problems. She should be thanking me and saying sorry for freaking out on me. But I was a pretty nice guy.

"It doesn't matter because I forgave you!"

Her eye roll was unmissable. Then she crossed her arms and took a calm breath. I was hoping this was a good sign. Usually Chase taking a deep breath meant she was getting over it, and moving on.

"Jayson Marrick, leave me alone and get your ass out of my f**king apartment!" Nope, no a good sign.

"Chase come on! Can't we just talk it out?"

"Jayson I swear I'm going to count to four, and if your still here I will scream so loud your dead grandmother will be able to here me."

"Um, hurtful. And four?"

"One"

"Chase are you seriously kicking me out? Can't we just talk about it?"

"Two" I guess not.

"Chase, I said I was sorry!" And that I loved her, though that seemed to make her more pi**ed.

"Three"

I sighed, picking up my jacket and left. I slammed the door behind me. I hoped I had made a scene, everyone noticing me leaving. I was already over it. Long time crushes were overrated anyways.


	6. Find Your Identidy

Shane

Here I was, at Chase's birthday party with Kimberly by my side. How I got this to work I wasn't sure, but I wasn't going to let the situation go by fast, I was going to relish in my achievement.

I'm Shane, the kid with 5 brothers, And a sister. I was weird having so many siblings but it helped, because when you had 5 older brother's who have messed everything up you could sit back and laugh at them for being so stupid, and the vow not to make their mistake.

All of my siblings are older now, I'm like my parents last child, because their getting older, and all they have left it me. It's nice, its like being an only child without being a lonely child. Plus I can call myself an uncle.

So I guess here's some insite into how I love my life. I just kinda roll with the punches, and when things come up I just let it happen. I guess thats how I ended up here with Kim. She said she would date me until we switched, and I said sure. Punches came, and I rolled.

Kim sighed, "So Shane, you no longer stressed about initiation?"

I shook my head grinning, "Nope, after your amazing advice I made up my mind, I'm going to Candor with Jordan."

Kim laughed, "Wow, the two of you Candor boys" she shook her head, "Well now I don't have to worry about you being honest with me.

I raised a joking eyebrow, "You never know" Then I thought about her saying she was switching too. "So an Amity chick?"

Kim lowered her voice, "Don't say it too loud, I haven't told Chase yet...or anyone for that matter."

I laughed, "Come on Kim, its obvious where you belong. Speaking of, the good thing about Amity is that's where all the party boys go."

She smirked, "I know, I was wondering why you weren't switching to there?" She teased, her mint green eyes sparkling in delight.

I shrugged, "Because, in Candor I can tell a girl she's fat and not get nocked for it. Dating will be so much easier"

I had thought it through, and Candor seemed like the easy way out of everything. You just tell everyone what you think and then they have to take it.

"Ok what about the truth serum?" She brought up a good point, they were going to make us spill out secrets to the entire faction before actually being accepted as a member.

I shrugged again, "Well, I've got nothing to hide so it's not a big deal."

"Riiiiight"

"Seriously!"

"Fine, let's get some truth or dare then."

"With two people?"

"And Shane picks truth, good choice!" I chuckled, Kim was a piece of work sometimes.

"Ok truth"

Kim smirked, "Ok what's your deepest fear?"

I paused for a second, not sure I wanted to tell her everyting. I guess she had a point, I didn't want _all _of my secrets out.

Kim laughed, "Ha I told you!"

I sighed rolling my eyes, "Whatever Kimberly" then I chuckled a bit. "I'm gonna go get a drink you want something?"

Kim shrugged, "Surprise me" she said with a wink before I turned and left.

Of corse she was here. Shelby Wilson. Me and Shelby had a sort of weird relationship. She was really my Ex-girlfriend since like 3 months ago. It was on/off and I figured we were off right now, but by the way she looked at me I guessed she wanted to be back on.

"Shane!" she said waving me over. I walked over, smug look on my face

"Shelb," I said simpily standing next to her.

"Whats with you latley? I saw you with Kimberly Danica,"

"She's my, uhh we were just talking" so much for honesty.

"Oh ok!" She said, yeah being smart wasnt Shelby's best quality. I just nodded and pretended like I thought she even had half a brain cell.

"So I was thinking Shane, We've been off for too long"

"Its only been 3 months"

"Exactly!" She said clapping her hands together, her dirty blonde har bouncing.

"So what are suggesting?" I asked smirking.

"That we get back together silly!" She said before grabbing me and kissing me. I kissed back. Like I said, roll with the punches, and if my hot ex-girlfriend wants to make out with me at my girlfriend's best friend's birthday party, then so be it. Ther was only one small problem, Kim was watching.

Kim

7 hours. Seriously we haven't even been dating for 7 hours before he was cheating on me. Now I guess I wasn't like blindsided, there was a reason why I refused to date him until today. And a reason that as of right now I was no longer dating him.

I went over standing next to the two of them. I wasn't one of those girls what would freak out on their boyfriend, but I guess that was because I didn't really care about Shane cheating. Even future Candor boys lie.

"Hey Shane, who's the friend?"

"I'm Shelby!" she said overly excited.

"Shelb, It was a sarcastic question" Shane patiently explained.

"And, I'm in your class at school, we sit next to each other." And I felt bad about not being a smart Erudite, Shelby was a disgrace.

"Ohhh I get it know!" She said nodding and smiling.

I bit my lip and turned to Shane. "So, um anything you want to tell me?"

Shane shrugged, "Well, this is my girlfriend Shelby, and Shelby, this is my girlfriend Kimberly."

"We know each other stupid, and ex-girlfriend" I responded where as Shelby held her hand out to shake. "We know each other!"

Shane chuckled and I glared. "This isn't funny Shane,"

"I know, it's just that I wasn't planning on having two girlfriends at the same time...it just happened you know?"

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever Shane, I gotta go anyways. See you around"

"Does that mean we're over?"

I gave him an are you kidding me look, "Yes it does. Goodbye Shane" Shortest relationship I have ever had.

Then I turned and went over


	7. Lose It All

Chase

After Jayson left I did what any true hostess would do. I put on a happy face and sucked it up. I was great, I flirted, I cut my cake, I thanked everyone for comming and then when they left, I sat down on the floor and cried.

I didn't try often, crying wasn't a sign of intelligence or strength or endurance. It was a sign of weakness, giving in to an overflow of emotions and breaking down. But I guessed its what I needed. I was stressed, and I realized I had been putting too much pressure on myself to be perfect, without remembering that I had limits.

"I can't believe it." I said simpliy, flatly. My mascara was running and my blonde hair was no longer a waterfall of curls, but a frazzled mess.

"What?" She asked sitting down next to me, she haddnt talked to me since the party, we had been too busy. We had neglected to clean up, I figured we could hire someone to come tomorrow or something, I was in no mood to clean.

I wiped my tear, tears were for your pillow. "Jayson, he...he wanted me to have s*x with him and then got mad when I wouldn't and then brought up initation and then claimed that he was switching to Dauntless and said that I should too, like I didn't even have a choice. Then he said he loved me to try to guilt me into everything and then got mad when I wouldn't give in and said I wasn't good enough for Dauntless anyways and then I kicked him out."

There was a long pause so I went back to crying like the mess I was. This was new for me, bad break ups. And considering how close we were, this one hit me pretty hard. I tasted the bitter salt on my top lip and I wiped my face again, I was done crying,

"I just...can't believe it" I said again, my voice barley above a whisper.

"I know" she said simply, flatly. I knew she wanted so bad to say I told you so, but she didn't. I knew it was on the tip of her tounge, but she held it in.

I couldn't take this anymore, the crying and the feeling sorry for myself. I stood up. "I'm going to go die my hair blue."

Now you could say I was acting impulse, but as a harmonal 16 year old girl going through losing a boyfriend and best friend on her birthday, I had every right to act on impulse.

Kim turned to me, shocked. "Wh-Why? I mean why would you do that?"

I shrugged, sometimes you don't need a why, you just do it.

Kim struggled, and shook her head again, "Chase, I can't let you, I won't let you do something this crazy I mean, seriously!" she turned to me with a pained look, and something told me that she had went through something tonight too.

I knew I was asking a lot of her. She couldn't tell anyone she knew I was doing this, especially not my mom, she would die. And I knew this was killing her, watching me act so impulsive.

"I'm dying it blue, Erudite blue. And I'm leaving right now" I decided, reaching for my white jacket. Now I wasn't exactly sure where I was going with this until now.

Kim shook her head, getting up and reaching for her own jacket. "I'm serious Chase, I can't let you do someting so stupid, and permant. Chase think of-"

I cut her off, opening the door to the apartment and walking out. I looked back at her, daring her to follow.

She gave me a desperate look and followed me out, closing the door behind us.

"Seriously, why?" She asked me, like a true Erudite. Why was always something we wanted to know, we were curious and I couldn't blame her.

I took a deep breath. I knew that I was going to have to explain to her sooner or later. "Jayson wanted me to switch with him to Dauntless. I can't do it. I know that something inside is telling me that I can if I want to. Something's telling me I can switch to any faction if I want to, but I just can't. So I'm gonna dye it blue, to remind me every day when I wake up and look in the mirror that I couldn't do it, and that I'm not with Jayson."

We were silent in the car. I drove, Kim sat next to me. And we both knew something was wrong, with everything. That was not the perfect Sweet 16 I imagined, but I didn't let anyone know what. I was strong and Kim was strong. That's how I lived everyday, with a pretty mask.

Kim

I heard the bell ring as Chase opened the door to the hair shop down the street. We didn't talk on the way, Chase just looked foreword and drove. She was 16 now, she had a car. No amount of pleading was going to change the fact that she and fuel and a permit. So that's why I came.

Honestly, I really just wanted to stay back at the room and think. Think about initiation and Amity. And think about how I was going to break it to Chase that we would be separating. Because I couldn't be her sidekick forever.

The hairdresser looked up, puzzled and gave us a small smile.

"I need hair dye, or well I need you to dye my hair for me," Chase explained. I swear she was numb from the breakup. All she needed was her voice of reason.

The salon women nodded, I looked to her name tag: Avery.

Avery looked up,"May I ask why you need it dyed at this hour?"

I looked around, it was empty. At 3 AM I was surprised it was even still open.

Chase sighed, "My boyfriend and I broke up and...I need to just do it" she started to tear up again but stopped herself. I knew whatever went down with Jayson was personal, and had hit her hard. Maybe he was just honest with her and she didn't want to hear it. Maybe he really was just mean. But it didn't matter, Chase never cried.

Avery nodded, going to the back to get some dye ready. I refocused on my blonde haired friend.

"Compromise" I stated, she looked up to me with her eyes puffy from crying."Get a streak of blue Chase. You can make it look trendy. And lets be honest here, we both know that you would regret having blue hair."

Chase was silent and bit her lip, then I knew she was considering it. She came over to me and hugged me.

"Your too good for me Kim, your always there to listen to me vent. And when I'm about to do stupid things you stop me. And you look out for me, you even warned me about Jayson God I'm so stupid!"

I gave her a small smile, "That's funny, because today I was telling Jordan how you guys are too good for me. I'm just the sidekick who can't ever make up her own mind and ends up doing things to please everyone else."

Chase shook her head, "No Kim, that's what I admire about you. You can help everyone else. I have the over competitive drive and I feel like I have to run everyone over."

I sighed "I guess that's why were best friends, to balance each other out." I grinned, hugging her again as Avery came back.

"What color?"

Chase smiled, "Erudite blue, but I only want a streak in the front"

Avery grinned, "Good choice" before getting the dye ready. Chase was done soon enough and we left together. On the ride home, we talked in the car. Silence was not golden, it was avoiding confrontation.

"Chase?"

"Yeah?"

"Your not switching?"

She shook her head, "You?"

I paused, figuring I should tell her. "Yeah, Amity."

"How'd that happen?"

"Well, I skyped with Shane, and he convinced me to switch to where I thought I would be happy in a year."

"Ok, speaking of what happend?"

"He cheated on me."

"Already? Its been like-"

"Seven hours" We smiled turning to each other. Then we almost got hit by another car and I yelled at Chase to focus on the road as our hearts pounded and we laughed.

"You know what?"

"What?" I asked back.

"We both had crappy nights because of boys,"

I laughed, "Guys suck"

"But," she said holding one finger up,"We also both grew up a little tonight..."

"Because boys" we said at the same time, then we laughed again.

And we drove back to the apartment, counting down the now precious hours we would have left together as Chase and Kim. Soon it would be Chase. And Kim. But not together. **We were growing up, and I think we both finally found ourselfs.**


	8. Find Your Place

Chase

After my birthday, things changed. Me and Jayson wouldn't even glance at each other and Shane wasn't even aloud to sit with out crowd. Explaining to my mom we had broken up came interrogation which I didn't want to answer, so I just lied and said we just want to keep it friends. That never explained why he was never around the house anymore. But mom was smart, she could figure it out.

Today was another important day though, Aptitude testing. We all sat at a table together, sitting around discussing our latest project because that's what us Erudite's did.

"Ok you nervous?" Kim asked me turning. You could tell her mint green eyes wavered in anxiousness.

I shook my head, "No...well yeah" I admitted. I had made my mind up that I was staying, I was just afraid that my test would tell me not to.

Kim gave me a smile "Whats to worry about? You'll do fine."

"It's a test" Jayson chimed in, "She's probably stressed about not getting a perfect score."

I glared at him, we've been doing this kind of thing lately. Making small jabs at each other, and making it awkward on everyone else around us.

"Well at least I care about things, like tests. Not just having s*x." I said back, to no one but looking at Jayce.

He didn't respond, because we both didn't want a fight before the testing.

"From Erudite: Jayson Marrick and Chase Matthews"

I sighed, standing up and taking a breath.

We got a collection of "Good luck guys" before we turned to leave.

We walked out of the cafeteria together, saying nothing to each other. When we got outside, there were all of the 10 rooms lined up.

I started to take a nervous breath, biting my lip to keep me from panicking. I wished I wasn't so mad at Jayce, I could really use some pre-testing pep talking. He used to do that for me when we were friends.

The rooms were separated by mirrors. They we're only used for testing, so I had never actually been in them. I sighed and went over to room number 1, where an abnegation girl was waiting for me to give me my test.

When I walked in, I could see the mirrors around me, like a 360 view of my body and it was bright in the room. The bright light hung overhead and I walked towards the chair in the center. The whole thing was kinda creepy to be honest, but I sat down in the chair. Keeping my eyes open to make sure I knew what was going on.

The Abnegation began connecting the wires to my forehead and I sighed, knowing this was going to be a weird test. She came back with the clear vial and told me to drink it.

"Why?"

"Because you have to" she said back simply, but I loved testing authority,

"But why? Is there like an offical rulebook saying that I must drink it?"

She sighed, "You have to drink the liquid for the test."

I rolled my eyes, she was no fun. "Fine" I said taking it and letting it go down my throat, figuring the test couldn't be that bad, my mom desgined it. Then my eyes fluttered and closed.

* * *

I woke up a second later, as if I only blinked. I was back in the cafeteria, only everyone was gone. On the table there were two baskets. One had cheese and one had a knife. The two most random things.

I am told to choose one. The voice was a women's voice that was hauntlingly familar

"Why?" I asked, this was becoming one of my new words.

"You must choose!" the voice said back. I knew it, it was my mother's voice.

I shrugged, "Well, since I don't see a good enough reason to choose...I don't think so." I really didn't get it. Why would someone want me to pick between a knife and cheese. Cheese was yummy, let the knife could be used to cut me a piece of cheese, in which I could eat.

"Fine," I said with a smirk, I picked up the knife, cutting the piece of cheese and then ate it. "I chose snack time instead if that's alright with you"

The test changed and I hear a door nock. I turned around to see a dog. Now this was not like the cute puppy next door, it was a big dog and it was angry. I guess that's the answer to my why. I could've fed it cheese or attacked it with a knife. Though I'll admit I wasn't fond of either of those ideas.

The dog looked angry, but dogs never really scared me. I stood my ground, then I took a breath and went over to it. I figured that most dogs probably weren't as mean as they looked, and at the least they enjoyed being pet.

The dog let out a cute bark as I pet it, laughing at how amazing I was to have charmed this big scary dog.

Then I see a little girl come out of nowhere, running towards the dog with a grin on her face. Now just because I had a way with dogs, doesn't mean a little girl would too. Lets face it, kids are annoying.

I went in front of the dog, between the girl and him as if warning her to stay back. Of corse, my luck on cue the dog decided he wasn't in a good mood anymore so he jumped on me, and I had to fight him back. Forgetting about the little girl, I was going to defend myself. I tousled with it until the scene changed.

I looked around me and there was a bus filled with people I didn't know. I looked and saw a creepy guy staring at me, well I couldn't exactly see his face covered with a newspaper but his hands were burned.

"Do you know this guy?" He asked me, taping the picture on the newspaper. The headline had something to do with a murder.

I bit my lip. It was weird because I felt like I knew him, yet I didn't. I didn't know where I knew him from or how I knew him. I just did. But I had a gut feeling I wasn't supposed to tell the man that I did.

I knew I shouldn't tell him, I knew that It was cause some trouble, maybe even get the man in trouble. My gut was telling me it was awful of me to even consider saying it, but I felt like I had to. It would be wrong if I didn't, and whatever he gets he did the murder anyways. It's his own fault.

"Yes, I do. I'm pretty sure I know him"

Then the man nodded, and I blinked again. Waking up.

* * *

The abnegation women sighed, detaching the wires and and studying my face. I gave her a weird look back, wondering what her deal was. For a second I thought I failed, then I remembered there was no way to fail. Maybe I passed in flying colors.

"Inconclusive" she stated to me.

"What?" I asked her puzzled.

"Well as the test goes on your supposed to rule out Factions, until your down to 1, you on the other hand came down to 3."

I let that sink in for a second, no wonder I had trouble deciding where I was going, I had aptitude for multiple Factions.

"Well first, you refused to pick either the cheese, the Amity response, or the knife, obviously Dauntless, and instead you decided to make yourself a snack?"

I shrugged, "I was hungry, there's never been a rule saying no snaking during testing. I caught the Abnegation roll her eye and I smiled, she must have transferred.

"I figured that was an Erudite like response, but I wasn't sure so I sent you to the dog, in which you approached. That was both smart, and also daring as the dog was obviously deadly. "

I shrugged, thinking back to it I probably shouldn't of approached it.

"But then Candor hadn't been ruled out yet until you had no problem telling the man that you knew the guy, knowing something awful could happen. So yes, your inconclusive."

I gave her a look, impressed that a Stiff would know so much.

"So now what?"

"You have aptitude for Dauntless, Erudite and Candor. This is Divergence" she told me in a very small voice, barley audible.

"You cannot ever share these results with anyone, not your family or friends or anyone. This is extremely dangerous."

So I was special. I knew that I had something special about me just waiting to burst out. But something told me that this was not to be bursted, actually I was so special that no one could ever know.

I nodded, "Ok then. Thanks" I said before exiting the room. I was glad that my mind was made up before hand, because this would've made me super confused.

I'm...Divergent. I don't know what it means but it's something. Something that I have and others don't.

I walked back in the cafeteria. Jayson and the others were already gathered around the table. I smiled at them, deciding to say I got Erudite. As much as I didn't want to lie to my friends, I had to.

Kim

I was Chase come back with a huge grin on her face that you couldn't miss.

"How was it?" I asked her, knowing we wern't alloud to share results, but I was uber curious.

Chase grinned and shrugged, "I did good" she said simply sitting down next to me. I figured she got what she wanted, Erudite. She began to twril her blue streak and my guess was confirmed.

"Congradulations Chase!"

"Thanks" she said smiling.

"From Erudite: Kimberly Danica and Shelby Wilson."

Chase turned to me, "Good luck Kim!" She said, as the chours of good lucks began.

I wondered how they chose the order, but some how I was going in with my ex-boyfriend's girlfiend.

"Hey Kim!" She said smiling at me.

"Hi" I said simpliy, trying to stay focused on getting ready

I swear she was boucning up and down like a pogo stick, "I'm so excited!" She squealed.

"Um, yeah" I said, exiting the cafeteria. We finally got to the group of doors we never go to go in because they were exclusively for aptitude testing. I headed over to room 2, not feeling nervous anymore.

The man giving me the test was a strong build, brown hair Abnegation man. If he wasn't a Stiff, I would've said he was cute.

I looked to my left and right, noticing all of the mirrors.I examined myself, concluding that I looked pretty good before sitting down in the chair in the center, frowning at the bright light in my eye.

The man handed me a clear vial and I shrugged, figuring I was supposed to drink it. Then I closed my eyes.

* * *

My eyes instantly reopened, and I found myself back where I was. I looked around, noticing the lack of people and wondered where they went.

In front of me though, was two baskets. One with cheese and one with a knife.

"Choose" I heared a voice say, I jumped a little, reconsising Chase's mom.

"Um, ok" I said, picking up the cheese. If I has to pick one, it wasnt going to be a knife. I didn't fight and I didn't cook so no need for pointy objects.

The scene changed to a little girl. She looked adorable with pig tails and a toothy reminded me of my sisters. Then she shrieked, as a big dog came after her. I was suck, because I knew I was no good at fighting off the dog but I felt bad for the girl. I knew dog's sensed fear, but I didn't care anymore. I ran.

Then it changed again and I took a breath, feeling a bit better. But then we were on a bus and I looked for somewhere to sit. Every seat was taken by strangers. I saw a man holding a newspaper up, covering his face. He was wrinkled disgusting hands that looked scared.

"Do you know this man?" He said pointing to the man on the front of the newspaper. I squinted, realizing that I actually did. I wanted to tell him, it's just that I didn't think it sounded like a good idea.

Something in my chest was pounding, and something in my head was whispering the words "lie...lie" over and over again.

I shook my head, "I don't know him"

"Yes you do!" He stood up, he had on glasses and a scared face to match is hands. He had a wicked grin on his face, like he was taunting me.

"Your lying, you know him!"

I did, but I couldn't shake off the feeling that it would be bad to tell him.

"Never seen him in my life"

"You could help me! All you have to do is say you know him!"

"I'm sorry, I just don't."

* * *

I woke back up and the man smiled as he detached the electrolytes.

"Amity" he said back to me simply.

I grinned, and then nodded "Thank you"

Then I left the room, feeling pleased with myself. I went back to the table and found everyone there.

"You do well?" Jordan asked,raising an eyebrow.

I nodded, "Yup, I got just what I thought I would" I said looking to him and Chase. She have me a small smile, I could tell she was bummed that I was leaving her. But maybe that's why my favorite animal is a bird. Because sooner or later, the get to leave the nest


	9. Find Yourself

Chase

On that walk home school, me and Kim were both quiet. My hands were in the pockets of my white jacket, and my blonde hair was neatly french braided, I wanted to look nice for the last day of school. My Erudite blue streak was braided in with the blonde.

The blue had came across well with my mom, I guess. I didn't tell her the whole story. I just told her that I dyed it blue because I'm dedicated to Erudite. I could tell she figured I wasn't telling the whole story, but I didn't mind. I just played it off. I wanted her not to be upset with me, so saying that I was dedicated to the Fraction wasn't a bad idea. But now it's actually the night before the Choosing Ceremony. And its all starting to clear up, like when you put on those glasses and suddenly you could see. Ok maybe that hadn't happened to me I have perfect vision, but you get the I was going o make a decision that could potentially ruin my life...no pressure.

We walked until we got in front of my house, Kim's was down the street.

"So, this is it..." I started, because realization hit me that this was really the last time we were going to spend time together as Erudite 16 year olds. Tomorrow she would leave, and I would make the choice to stay, weather or not I wanted to.

Kim nodded, "Yeah, I guess so"

I took a breath, "Well, it was real Kim"

She gave me a small smile, "It was real fun"

Then I hugged her, unable to take it. I wasn't going to cry though, but I had a feeling Kim might.

"I'm gonna miss you so much"

I nodded, "Seriously, your like my best friend."

Kim laughed, "Who else would be able to put up with you?" She teased and I hit her arm.

"Shut up"

We laughed a bit before sighing.

"So this is goodbye?" She asked me, and I could see her trying to be strong.

I shook my head, "No, this is see you later. Trust me we'll see each other again" I reassured.

We hugged again before pulling away.

"Seriously Kim, we can visit once we're members, and maybe even our children will meet each other! Or once I become the new Erudite Leader, I can go visit you in Amity and stuff!"

Kim chuckled, "Yes, I know that will be you one day. Chase Matthews, leader of Erudite, generation 2."

I nodded, "And you'll be some fabulous artist in Amity and I'll see your work one day and be like "That's my best friend!""

Then we just stood for a second, and I bit my lip.

"I should go inside..."

"See you later Chase"

"Later Kimberly" I said, putting on a convincing grin and walking inside to my house. I waved when I got to the door, knowing that was probably one of our last private talks together.

When I got inside my mom, and brother were already waiting for me. The last thing I wanted to do was have some family talk. I remember the night before Channing's initiation my mom sat us down and she gave us some stupid lecture on how we can't switch Factions and how we're too smart and talented to waste somewhere else.

I unmistakably rolled my eyes at my awaiting family, just to show them that I wasn't in the mood. When I was, I was usually a pretty good daughter. It's just lately with initiation and everything I've been stressed. And when I get stressed I panic. And when I panic, then I get snappy and irritable. And unless your Kim or used to be Jayson, don't go near me because I'm just a time bomb ready to blow up in your face. I was like Bridezilla...24/7 and I wasn't even getting married.

"Chase" my mom started. My mom was actually pretty. She had sharp gray eyes and wore glasses and one look at her told you that she was smarter then you, and that you shouldn't mess with her. She was average hight with blonde hair like mine. Like I said, she was pretty. But she was alwauy focused on something. Unfourtunaitly, right now that something was me.

"Hey mom, Channing" I said nodding to each of them and lingering towards the steps. "I've got to go upstairs and um"

My mom shook her head and pointed and the floor in front of her. I braced myself for the Choosing talk. I walked back, and glared at Channing's smug expression. He was a good brother, he looked out for me. He just loved to annoy me. I swear it was his hobby.

"Fine mom, lets hear it"

"Erudite has a long history of people, many if which are very talented and gifted..."

She trailed off and i'll admit it, I got bored. I mean like I look up to this women and all but I said I wasn't in the mood. So giving me a history lesson the night before the Choosing Ceremony was not what I needed.

When she was finished, I nodded my head. "Yes, I understand and I told you that I'm staying here. Remember, the hair dye?" I said, pointing to the blue in the braid.

Channing cleared his throat, "Speaking of mom, isn't there rules about us dying our hair? I mean shouldn't she get in trouble for making a rash decision without your premission?"

I glared at him, because the smirk on his face was too big and he knew this was not the time. "Speaking of bad decisioms, lets talk anout Channing's initation essay. What was that? Oh yeah 2nd place" I fired back, and that shut him up fast.

"Enough you two" my mom said, and I could tell even she was getting bored of our bickering.

I sighed, "Ok I said I was staying in Erudite can I go now?" I said, motioning to the stairs.

My mom nodded, and turned around to go to the kitchen and I went up to my room.

When I got up, I took my hair out, brushing it out as I looked in the mirror. I swore the taste of salt hit my lip, but I refused to let it get to me. I sighed, standing up and starting a bath. I took out the bubble bath and began to squeese the foamy liquid out of the tub before sighing.

"Screw this" I said, pouring the whole bottle in there and letting the tub fill up with hot water. I undressed, putting my white robe with my monogramed C on and my matching slippers. I only did this kind of thing when I needed major destressing. Then I heard a nock on my door and I sighes, turning the water off so it didn't flood.

I opened the door, suddenly becoming more irritated with interruptions.

"What?" I snapped, coming face to face with my older brother. I felt bad, it came out like a bratty teenaged girl would say but I was just moody.

Channing chuckled, obviously laughing at me, and raised his hands in mock defense. "Woah there princess, can we talk?"

I rolled my eyes, retreating to my couch under my bed. Channing took that as a sign to come in, and sat next to me. One thing I give him credit for, was knowing when I was stressed, and when I really was just being a bi**h, because that line got blurred a lot.

He took a breath, "So, you know what dad told me?" I looked to him, suddenly my bi**hiness had vanished and I sat up straight. No one would ever tell me anything about my father and well, I hated being in the dark about anything.

"He said that everything in our life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice."

I sighed, "Thanks Chan, for explaining that my choice can change a lot of stuff, now everything's cleared up!"

He shook his head, I could tell he was being patient with me. "What I'm saying is that if you don't want to be here, in Erudite for the rest of your life, then it's ok to switch. The only person who's gonna have to live with this decision is you."

He was wrong, mom was going to have to live with it. And my friends and my future children. And my future children's children. And while we're at it their children! My once choice could ruin my great grandchildren's life! Ok maybe I am stressed out.

I sighed, "But what about you and mom. Won't you guys be dissapointed if I leave?"

He shurgged, "I'll be bummed, and mom will be upset. But we'll still love you and all that crap."

I smiled, "Ok ok. But what if"

"What if what?"

I bit my lip, "I feel like its the safetst choice to make? Or I feel like I have to because of someone else"

I sighed, deciding I might as well tell him what happened with Jayson. I did, and he listened the whole time, not inturupting.

"So thats why you dyed it blue"

"And I can't switch, then it's like I gave in to him.'

Channing shrugged, "Like I said, your gonna have to live here not him."

I lowered my voice,"Ok another thing"

"What?" He asked me. I almost wanted ti tell him abiut what the test woman said, but then I couldn't. But then I felt like if I didn't tell someone soon I woukd burst. I apparently had aptitude for Candor.

"What if...I thought I belonged in multiple factions?"

He gave me a weird look. Of corse, he'd always known he would be Erudite.

"Ok Chan, I'm going to tell you something but you cannot say anything to anyone. Not even mom. When I was finished with my test, I was told I had aptitude for Erudite, Candor...and Dauntless."

Channing paused for a second, processing it. I knew he wanted to start asking questions and researching like a true Erudite, but he stoped for my sake.

"Ok." He just said simply.

"So she said it was dangerous information and so I thought the safest thing would be to stay here because what if someone thought it was weird if I switched to like Candor because I had had my mind made up apparently until today."

Channing nodded in agreement,"I think your right."

I sighed, and their was silence. I knew he was thinking, and wondering if I would've actually stayed.

"Chan" I paused, "What happened to dad?" I asked after much silence. I figured since he brought it up he was going to tell me. And it was something I needed to know.

Channing sighed, which meant I knew he was going to tell me. Why he hasn't I'm not exactly sure.

"He left, when I was four. He all of the sudden decided he wanted to be Fractionless and he left."

My dad was fractionless? Why the hell was he fractionless?

"But what made him leave"

"He said that he needed to find himself."

I bit my lip. I guess I was my father's daughter. That's what I needed right now. I needed to figure out what I wanted in life, and fast. Maybe he had been in the same position as me, and after a while he decided he wasn't happy here. Or maybe he did switch, and wished he didn't.

"Do you know, was he from Erudite?"

Channing shrugged, "Not sure, everything I told you is all I know. But he must've been smart, because mom liked him and you know her standards"

I did, and then were high. For men, for us, for the Faction. It was hard to live up to her expectations.

Chan, patted me on the back, standing up. "I gotta go, and you've got some thinking to do" I smiled, standing up after him. Then I hugged him and held it for a second. He started to brush my hair with my fingers. "Whatever you do Chase, I back you up 100%"

And that was all I needed to hear. I knew I had full permission to leave, but now It came down to me. I needed to figure myself out.


	10. Find Your Flight

Kim

I walked home with Chase, knowing that this was probably my last few moments we would get to spend together in a while. It was sad, today was full of lasts. My last day of school, ever. Even more so, my last day as an Erudite student. I would never have to pick up a textbook again. I was weirdly excited about that. My last time walking home from school. My last time getting up early just so I could straighten my hair to impress absolutely no one. My last time calling myself an Erudite. Tomorrow would be my last morning in Erudite, which made tonight my last night.

I guess I was getting used to the fact I was leaving. I said all my goodbye's already, it wasn't much of a secret. Except my family. They didn't actually know what was happening. I never said anything and my mom never brought up the subject. She was a quiet women. She looked a lot like me, but was a bit bigger and always had a soft face. She was a studier, like someone book smart. But she was never the talker.

We stopped in front of Chase's house.

"So, this is it..." Chase looked at me, then she moved her gaze to something behind me. I could tell she was trying to keep it causal and not much of a big deal. We were both trying to avoid the reality that we weren't going to see each other every day anymore.

I took a breath and nodded, "Yeah, I guess so."

"Well, it was real Kim"

I gave her a small smile, nodding at our inside joke. "It was real fun"

Then Chase came and hugged me. I hugged her back, trying to keep a consistent smile on my face but I knew I was going to tear up soon.

"I'm gonna miss you so much" I let out, barley above a whisper. It was hard and I felt like this was somehow my fault. The only reason we were even having this was because I was leaving Chase, she was staying.

"Seriously, your like my best friend"

I laughed, my smile widening,"Who else would be able to put up with you?" I teased, knowing that the two of us have gone through some shaky times. And even when she got moody, I took it because we were there for each other.

"Shut up" she responded, which made me laugh harder because she was such a high matenince friend.

Then we both sighed.

"So this is goodbye?" I said to her, not really asking but I needed to hear it out loud.

Chase shook her head in response, "No, this is see you later. Trust me we'll see each other again."

I smiled, knowing she was right. We were going to see each other in the morning actually. I hugged her again, not exactly wanting it to be tomorrow morning yet.

"Seriously Kim, we can visit once we're members, and maybe even our children will meet each other! Or once I become the new Erudite Leader, I can go visit you in Amity and stuff!"

I chuckled, i knew she was just going through her fantasies but it was ok. Fantasies were nice to cling onto.

"Yes, I know that will be you one day. Chase Matthews, leader of Erudite, generation 2." I pretended I was joking, but I did believe she would so something once.

Chase nodded," And you'll be some fabulous artist in Amity and I'll see your work one day and be like "That's my best friend!""

Then we just stood for a second, letting the silence linger for a second.

"I should go inside..." Chase said, and I nodded.

"See you later Chase." I called to her.

"Later Kimberly" She said as she walked inside.

And that was it. That was the goodbye we had but like she said, it was a see you later. Then I had to walk home by myself, which wasn't a long walk or anything. I just had a lot of time to think. Alone.

When I got back I opened the door to my own house. I walked in quietly, hearing the sounds of two little sisters fill the house.

Khelssee ran up to me, grinning. She took after my mother, being quiet. But I figured she took after my dad, she had my eyes but blonde hair. I picked her up, putting her on my hip. She was 5 now, and a little heavier then she used to be. But it was ok, because I knew I wouldn't be able to hold her for a while.

"Hey you" I said to her, touching her nose as she grinned at me. Then I walked into the kitchen, where I figured my mom and sister would be. I was right, my mom was there with Kim.

Kim was 3, and the most adorable thing ever. She had the blonde hair, but she had grayish eyes. I smiled at her, putting Khelssee down.

"Hey mom" I said to her smiling. She nodded back, and continued to make dinner, specifically spaghetti. She was good, I was a sucker for spaghetti. I turned to the two girls.

"So, how was school?" I asked them both, a pang of guilt was in my chest. I couldn't do it, keep procrastinating about telling them. I knew they were pretty young so I wasn't sure how they were gonna take it. Khelessee would get it though, she's smarter then me. I would even estimate genius material. I know she would be a good Erudite.

Kim grinned, her blonde hair bobbling, "Well I learned something today!"

I smiled back, "And that would be?"

Kim shook her head, "It's a secret, I'm not aloud to tell you."

I laughed, "Fine, you can tell me when your ready." I said back to her, though I was seriously felling guilty about that line.

My mom sat down with me and the girls, holding the bowl of spaghetti.

"So," my mom started, and that's when I knew when it was coming, because she didn't like to start conversation.

"Yes mommy?" Kat asked turning to her, her voice was so high and adorable, it made me melt.

Khelssee grabbed some pasta, not saying anything and eating it. Then she looked to me.

"Kim, what are you thinking about tomorrow?"

I turned pink, "Um, mom."

She nodded, as in she already knew. I slowly regained color, if she already knew then she would see it coming.

"I'm going to Amity"

It was silent for a second, which ment that Kat had no idea what was going on. Khelssee on the other hand was wide eyed and definitely knew what was going on.

My mom nodded,"I'm proud of you for making your decision."

I smiled, "Really? Your not mad?"

She nodded back "Im always proud of you."

And that confirmed that I was good to go, I was aloud to do as I pleased. I didn't have to be confined by the rules of Erudite, I was free to finally do as I pleased. I was finally like the bird I wanted to be. I was spread out on my toes, and about to take flight from the nest.


	11. Find What's Lost

Chase

We were in a circle. We all stood, the current 16 year olds on the edge of every Fraction. We stood in alphabetical order, Kim being in front of me and Jayson, unfortunately next to me. In the center in another circle, sat my brother and mother.

I looked to the bowls and my stomach began to feel sick. Mainly because I realized that the choice was coming sooner then I thought. I wished again, that I had that magic remote to pause everything and just relax.

I listened as the Amity person ran through the mantra, the lines that were read every year during initiation.

Then I waited. I couldn't watch everyone else pick. So I was numb. I saw Kim go over to the Amity, and I gave her a small smile. I think I saw Jordan go to Candor, I don't remember.

"Jayson Marrick" I heard, and suddenly I woke up from my weird trance, realizing I was next. I watched my old best friend cut is wrist, letting the blood trickle into the flames. Then he have me a small smile and I rolled my eyes as he walked over to the place were the future Dauntless stood. I knew I couldn't join him.

"Chase Matthews"

I stood straight, walking up to the podem. This is it...this is seriously fricken it. I pushed her blonde lock behind her ear and reached for the knife. The pain hit me sharp and quick, like a smart jab or a face your crush makes at you that you play off but secretly, ur hurt. I was scared. I reached towards the bowl of water, but for a split second my mind went in a million directions. Maybe now I should switch, mabye im more candor, truthful. Or mabye i should pick dauntless, but if i dont, does that make me a coward? Maybe he's right, I'm not good enough for Dauntless. But then if I'm being honest with my self, then Candor? As fast as the thought came and went, I remembered my conversation with Channing the night before.

He told me to do what I wanted, I would be the one who had to live with it. I didn't know what I wanted to do, I needed more time. I just couldn't figure out my thoughts enough, I though I knew but I was second guessing it. I thought when you would cut your arm it would hurt. I didn't hurt me. It stung.

The bowl of water was now red with blood, and regret.

Jayson

I was fidgeting. I literly couldnt stop moving. I tapped my sides, I played with my tumbs. I was nervous. Then I was mad at myself for being nervous. Dauntless didn't get nervous because nerves were a sign of fear.

I was ready to switch, I felt a little bad leaving my parents but they understood. I guess they thought I caused too much trouble here in Erudite and that my mischive would be better suited elsewhere.

I looked over to my side at Chase, she was still mad at me. Now I wasn't at the stage where I would say I'm sorry, but at the least I would forgive her. It was her fault anyways. I tried to catch her attention, I brushed her shoulder, I smiled. She was zoned out, she made absoulely no contact.

"Jayson Marrick" I took a deep breath and I saw Chase wake up. I gave her A charming grin hopeing she would give me some sort of sign. I didn't want to completly leave our friendship unresolved. She just rolled her beautiful blue eyes.

I steped up to the bowls, closing my eyes smirking and cuting my skin, letting blood fall into the flames of Dauntless. It didn't even hurt. I hoped watching me woukd give Chase the push to come with me. It didn't.

Kim

I put on the fakest smile I had. I was going to be Amity now and I was going to have to get used to smiling.

I stood looking at my family, we had all talked this morning and my sisters were both fully aware of what was happening. It broke my heart, but I knew that I needed to go. I was going to be new now, I was a new Kimberly Danica.

I looked around the circle, seeing the other kids who were nervous and then I looked back to the 5 bowls, my eyes lingering on the water and soil.

I watched as some of the other 16 year olds made their choices. The one's who changed gave me a slight boost of confidence. I realized that if they could do it, I could.

"Jordan Burke" Jordan went over, a blank face and quickly let his blood fall onto the glass. Then he went over with the other Candor's and I knew he was going to he happy. I knew that in one year when he was a Candor member that he would be glad he choose what he did. I gave him a small smile from where he stood, as if to say thanks and to look for encouragement in the choice I was about to make. He noticed me and nodded back as if to tell me to go ahead.

"Kimberly Danica" I walked over with a small smile, trying to pretend that I was happy and confident. I decided to clear my head of all of the other thoughts because I knew what I was doing. I cut my wrist, letting the blood fall down on the soil, declaring my choice of change. I didn't want to look at my family, who even know they knew it was coming they probably just let the reality hit them. So I didn't, I looked straight forward. I held my head up. I didn't cry, or puke, even know I thought I might soon. I finally took flight from the nest.


	12. Find Your Reign

Chase

Erudite initiation sucked. It was brutal from beginning to end and not to be mean, but only the smart survive. Remember what I said earlier about climbing over people to get to the top, now would be the time to do so. The one thing I loved was competition, and It was easier now that it wasn't even against my brother or friends, it was mostly against timid transfers who think that Erudite is just about carrying books around. This was my initiation to lose. No distractions, just focus.

I was fourtunate enough to know initation like the back of my hand. I knew that my mom would start trying to intimiate us in 3...2...

My mom walked down the steps, hair slightly fluster and glasses eskew. Very unusual. "Today, initiates, is THE day. This may only be your first here, but it VERY WELL, may be your last." Though her tone was sweet and ladylike, a sharper and militant feel lurked under her words. "You must choose a topic. This is NOT your average topic. It will determine your stay here in Erudite. Choose wisely, you cannot choose again. I will stop by each of you in 20min. If you do not have your topic, or i do not like it, you will leave this impound and never return." She eyed us all in turn. "Am I understood?" a flurry of yes ma'am's, and one "yes sir, uh, i mean.." echoed through the 14 prospects. "Begin"

I kept an adorably smug look on my face because I had already had time to plan. To be honest I had zoned out of what she just said.

I started picking at her fingernail...I've got my topic already, leadership, an in dept. insite on the phycology of leading. Ive had this picked out since last night, no going back.

Then my competitive side came out and I though maybe I should go psyche out the other initiates...with 2 minutes left I could find someone who had nothing, then give them a horrible topic and see how they do with that. I have to have the best paper like Channing or I swear to God I'll never live it down. I flipped her hair and gave my blue streak one last twril before heading to a nervous looking Amity

"Hey" I smiled brightly at her, she was skinny with short brown hair.

She nodded back, "Hi"

I rocked on my heels, "So, you have a topic yet?" And as expected, she shook her head. I grinned, knowing that if she was smart enough she wouldn't let me bother her.

"Hmm...what about like the study of weather?" I suggested, coming up with the most random thing that came to mind.

The girl gave me a deserved strange look.

"It's a really creative idea trust me, I'm Erudite born" I said with a smiled, then I left because my mom was already back. I was kinda hoping that the girl wouldn't take my stupid advice but you never know.

"Time." A bored expression on her face mom studied the faces of each young person. She already knew who passed and who failed. It was obvious in their eyes. "Present your ideas, now." Her clipped tone ensured no argument and she pointed to ,r. "You first. Hopefully, YOU know how it's done." that was about all the motherly love she could muster.

I didn't mind though, going first could be seen as a blessing. I flipped her hair once and said my topic choice with a simple, but confident voice. "I will be researching the phycology and sociology of leadership and what it takes to be a good leader. I pushed my hair behind her ear with a confident look, and was now curious to see what the others had come up with. I wanted to come across and tough competition, so everyone already knew I set the bar.

"Accepted." I kept my face the same, though I had to admit I was a little disappointed she gave me no expression or anything, she just kept a bored face.

"You." She pointed to the girl that I had been whispering to. Time for the real process to start.

Then I got bored, not realy paying attention to the other essays. As the other kids gave their topics, I started looking around. Then I noticed after her mother left silently. I guess something else so important, wow mom.

I looked up and saw the boy she handed the clipboard to. I thought I recognized him, but couldn't remember. I think he'd talked to Channing or something, but does he seem so, fimiliar. Weird. I noticed him take a brief glance in my direction before addressing the others. I was intrigued...I took another look at the boy before I went back to pretending to listen to the other research ideas.

He had a pretty average build, and I would say he was about 5'11? 5'12?. He had dark brown almost black hair, and bright green eyes. He had the look that just told you he was always smiling, and he wore glasses like most of us. e has little laugh lines from always smiling, and he wears black rimmed glasses. I could admit it, sexiest nerd I've ever scene.

After everyone was done, the boy stuck the pen behind his ear, and whistled loudly get everyone's attention. "I wanted to formally welcome everyone. Now that we have our topics, we can head to the shuttle that will take us to the compound. There you'll meet some of the other leaders." He headed toward the door to walk out to the shuttle. "For the record, my name is Hayden. I'm an Erudite member and a tutor for you guys this year. Last one out, make sure to close the door." He headed to the shuttle.

I grinned, happy to know that his name was Hayden but that he would be tutoring, not that I needed it.

We walked onto the shuttled and I noticed a girl wink at him. It was weird, like I was getting jealous feelings after just taking glances at this guy. But still, I walked until a girl came up, linking arms.

"I'm Purity, wanna show me around?" She asked a bit too enthusiastic. She was cute, with dirty blonde hair and green eyes. Still, I wasn't much of a toucher.

"Ok, I'm Chase, which you should probably know," I started cautiously, "and I'll show u around but first," I unhooked my arms, "I don't do the whole arm linking bff forever thing." Ok I might've sounded like a bi**h just then, but I might as well get my point across, " And second, did I see you winking at the tutor?" I asked with a girly tone but inside I was feeling competitive. I was attracted to Hayden, I'll admit. Even if he was 2 years older. But I wanted to know if this Purity girl was going to be my competition.

"God no! I wouldn't date an instructor, that's like cheating! I prob had like something in my eye." I could tell she was a bit bothered by my arm link comment, she must've been from Amity,"What about you? Somebody hot on teacher?"

I knew when Purity asked that I didn't have much of an escape on this question. "Well you know, he's, " I chose my words carefully, "attractive. And seems nice enough but no, I'm not into relatioships or anything..." After me and Jayson, I decided I needed to stay clear of boys for a good six months.

We eventually found some seats and started countless talking. Now let me tell you, talking with an Amity girl is like talking with a girl that would not shut up. But luckily, I was so tired it didn't really bother me. I was glad that 2 other girls joined our conversation or else I would've looked anti-social or something.

Then some stuff happened with Purity and some guy and she suddenly burst out in anger, shouting "Oh my, God the, i, cant bel-, that B*STARD!" I smirked, quite amused by this actually.

Rebecca gaped. "Purity! That word is-wait what does that word mean why is it so bad? It is a bad word,right?" She had begun twirling her hair around her finger and examining it for split ends. Then I sighed, giving her a why are you even here look. She looked stupider then a pile of bricks. She was yet another blonde haired-blue eyed beauty. But I could admit much prettier then me.

"Its just ba*tard Rebecca, no big deal"

"Wh-why?" Rebecca asked out of the blue. "I...wait ab*stard is a pregnant dog...right?"

I rolled my eyes, "Different context Rebecca, shes pretty much saying how much she hates the guy, whatever his name is" I tried to explain, but I guess my patience was running thin.

"Ohhhhh." Rebecca said nodding her head. "Wait a minute, do guys and girls share dorms? Cause if we do its gonna get way gross like way fast."

"Are you like stupid?" I said, coming out meaner then I wanted it to. She just seemed like honestly clueless. "No we don't, that would just be weird, its girl and boys separated. Why did guys and girls share rooms in Candor?" I tried to soften my face, not wanting to be mean just competitive.

"No but,like." She leaned in closer still twirling her hair. "I hear in dauntless they do. I was just way scared cause like if we had to share rooms with guys they would stink it up faster than the speed of light which is 299,792,458 metres per second. and that is waaayyy fast."

"How'd you know how fast the speed of light was? " I inquired, curious. Maybe Rebecca was smarter thenI thought. "And ew, dauntless is gross," I said, trying to shift the thought of Jayson there right now out of my head, and began thinking of Hayden, "Hey have you seen any guys that intrigue you?" I asked again with the same dying suspicion.

"Its basic science. Anyway I mean theres cute ones but I just want a total gentleman." Rebecca began twirling her hair even more. "You know like grow up get married, the whole fiasco." She paused trying to remember what fiasco meant and how she came about saying it. "Umm ya."

"We have the place under a watchful eye. If anyone tries anything from either gender, consequences will be made," he said leaning, walking down the isle. I blushed slightly, thinking it was funny he thought we were going to try anything.

We shortly arrived back in Erudite, where I was ready for initiation to start.

Kim

So far, Amity wasn't so bad. I had already found a girl to sit with, Francesca and she seemed nice enough. Definitely a low matince friend, which was what I needed. We sat on the train next to each other on our way to the Faction and talked about some stuff, until a guy with black hair and amazing blue eyes came next to us with a look on his face.

"Hey Kim and Fran aren't you a pretty bunch" he said winking.

Francesca made the first mistake, giving him the time of day. "excuse me but if I were given a nickname I'd rather it be Cescia"

I rolled my eyes at him, I had already delt with Shane and I wasnt in the mood for more douchbags, I moved to Amity to get away from them.

"And you must be self centerd jerk nice to meet you?" I said sarcastically.

" Why yes I am," he said reaching his hand out. It sucked, because he was hot. But that was no reason for me to talk to him.

Too late, I rolled my eyes again, but I did shake his hand. "And I prefer if you call me Kimberly, only my friends can call me Kim."

"Ok Kimberly, so since we aren't friends, this must make us more than friends" He said, starting to run his hand through his shaggy hair. I really wanted to just tell him to go away but I couldn't, he was hot and I guess I'm a sucker for attention.

"Or, this makes us not friends at all," I responded, "And i have a boyfriend," Ok that was just a lie to make him back off. Maybe that would make him go away and then I could go back to my boyless initiation.

"And you think that's gonna stop me, by the way I'm Toni," he said eyebrows raised.

Ok he was relentless. . "Ok Toni, if your unphased by the common respect to lay off people's girlfriends then why are you transferring to Amity?" I asked eyebrow raised. He didn't seem like the Amity type of happy go lucky guy. Plus, he was from Dauntless and that was something you didn't see every day.

"Why did you switch?" he said obviously avoiding the question.

Then this girl, who looked like the most stereotypical Amity ever, skipped into us. "Um, am I crazy, or I'd there no fighting in Amity?"

"Both." said another guy smiling wickedly

The girl laughed, "whatever, Liam!" she called out. "As for you all," she looked between the 3 of us "no more fighting!"

"Not fighting, I'm flirting" Toni said back with an eyebrow raise.

"No hes right, were not fighting, hes trying to hit on me," I said with an eye roll, secretly cursing myself for partially defending him.

I couldn't take Toni's distraction. This was not how I pictured my beginning of my new life in Amity.

"Soo, if Toni would just go find some other girls to hit on everything would be great!" I said looking at him with a go away look.

"Has anyone ever told you your eyes are like the ocean," He said to me and then turned to Francescia, " and called you my dear a dark beauty"

I sighed, this problem was not going away. I looked at Francesca who rolled her eyes. "Is this all you do with your free time? Think of crappy pickup lines?" I asked him.

"No I also fantasize about the girls the pickup lines are gonna go to," said he said back with a confident dazzling smile.

I sighed, "You my friend, are so annoying, Don't you have something better to do?" I asked looking around.

"Nope" he said unfazed.

I groaned and looked over to Francesca with a 'are you seeing what hes doing to me' look, "What do i have to do to make you go hit on some other girl?" I asked, wondering how much it would take to shake him off.

"Dont worry I'm hitting on others too ain't that right mylady your stars twinkle in the sunlight brightening up your ever so annoyed face, dark beauty," Toni said turning to Francesca, who returned my groan.

"Stars as in a metaphor for your eyes, so why did you leave Euridite and Candor?" He asked us.

"Why did you leave Dauntless? Theres plenty of girls to hit on there?" I asked back, not willing to tell him anything.

"Ahhh, the girls there were too mean and feisty I wanted nice girls," Toni said putting his arms around Cescia, who immediacy swatted his arm away before he could touch her.

"Well, i dont know any nice girls that want a sleezebag like you," I said with disgust, looking to him. As relentless as he was, I had to admit he was hot.

Toni put his arm around me, " we are in Amity now, you can't call me a sleazebag," he whispered.

"Shut up," she said smiling a little, "I can call you whatever and say im joking, 65 percent chance they'll believe me, someone like me wouldnt lie" I was a terrible liar.

"Ahhh but they have to vote on it so maybe the 35% chance will prevail that still is over a quarter chance, oh wait you thought I was some stupid jock who couldnt do math didn't you," He said moving his hand to her hip. My heart fluttered for a split second. I was thinking about hitting him but I didn't. He seemed harmless.

I smirked, "You _are _a stupid jock who cant do make, because its a 33.6% chance it will prevail, according to your theory," I said back. Being an Erudite born had its perks.

"Ahh details," Toni said removing his hand and turning to Francescia, "You never answered my question,"

"And I will keep leaving it unanswered," She said and turned away to look back at the trainers who seemed to be having a flirt fest themselves.

"So are you really a Dautnless born comming to Amity to be peaceful? Because I dont see you acting like all the other Amity boys," I asked, slightly tipping my head.

"Eh, I don't know just wanted to try something new,"

"For the rest of your life? Come on," I said rolling my eyes, "Come on there has to be a reason you left your family." I didn't know how a person could leave their family just to try something new. There had to be a reason.

"Family? What family?" Toni laughed.

"You dont have any family?" I asked Toni, feeling sympathy for him for once.I could never imagine not having my sisters. I adored them.

One of the trainers told us we were going to start the next phase of initiation, singing.

"I have a family but don't have a family if you catch my drift," he whispered to me.

I nodded and listened to him sing. Ok maybe I wasn't listening, I was thinking about Toni. Not in a crush like way or anything, there's no way. I looked over in the back at two couples flirting, and then kissing. It almost made me sick how perfect they were. I almost wished I had a boyfriend. I almost wanted to slap myself for throwing my own pity party.

"I see," I whispered back, "So moving factions wasnt hard for you," I asked as I clapped for the trainer, Jonathan.

"Not at all, I kinda view it as an adventure"

"Wow, welll it was hard for pretty much everyone else"

"Ahh well that's kinda a given but I'm not just anybody else right?" He said back with a sexy wink.

"Your right, your not just everybody else, your more annoying then everybody else," I whispered, smirking. Toni was going to be a piece of work, but I guess everyone needs a challenge right?


	13. Find Your Nerve

Chase

I walked into the girls dorm, this was a little new. I was so used to sleeping in my bed that I didn't even think about the part where I wouldn't be sleeping in it , until initiation was over.

I went over to my bed for now, smoothing over the smooth blue comforter. I sighed, sitting on the bed and pulling out my laptop so start a bit on the essay. Then Artemis came in.

Artemis was pretty I guess, she had auburn hair and a clever look to her. I couldn't tell if we would get a long or not, but it didn't matter. She had gotten first last year, something I needed to accomplish. I guess I needed to watch and learn.

"Um hey,girls. Just making sure you have everything and didn't need pads and tampons are in the bathroom ,extra makeup, I know last year we had lotions and perfumes."

She tucked her hair behind her ear but it only fell forward again so she left it. Her laptop sat perched in one arm as she viciously typed with the other. I sighed, biting my lip watching her. She seemed nice enough right now, but I was wondering how she would be once we started. Then I decided I might as well become friends with her, because she was training and strategy 101 said making friends with the authority can only help.

Purity interrupted my thoughts, yet again, and I sighed nicely in frustration. "Having trouble starting? Me too"

I was about to snap at her for snooping at my essay but I noticed Hayden leaning on the door frame making an adorable awkward look. Then I remembered Artemis just mentioned tampons. "Ok there are guys in the room" he said, lightly shoving Artemis.

We looked at each other for a small second but then he kept looking at the other initiates."If any of you guys or girls need us, we'll be at the cafe down the road." He nodded, and then left.

Then Artemis left and I was left with Purity. "Uhh no I've already got a great start..." I said back, closing my laptop and looking back at her. I realized that I probably sounded bit*hy again so I decided to show some weakness. "Ok mabye not, ive got ideas but i cant figure out exactly how to word it" I sighed in defeat, not feeling defeated. I just wanted to seem more humble.

I layed back, resting my head on the white pillow. "So have u talked to they guy latley? You know the one who you think is a b**tard?" I asked her, desperately wanting to take the attention off of me for once. I figured Purity wouldn't mind it on herself anyways.

"Whatever. He's just a wanna be, as in, he wants to be with me!" Purity winked at me and I nodded in understanding. I guess she was kinda like me and Kim in a sense. We knew guys liked us but we didn't want to give them a chance, afraid of what could happen.

I watched as Purity acted like she didn't like Shaun. I was amused, then in awe that Rebecca cartwheeled over to us. Seriously, cartwheeling. "Hey, chicas! Lets go shopping." She said to us, more like an order then a suggestion.

I held back a pluthera of snarky comments I wanted to make about the cartwheeling and agreed that shopping couldn't do any harm.

As we walked by a little cafe, I noticed an older guy with fimilar blonde hair and blue eyes. It was Channing, but I was too lazy to wave. Then I noticed that he was with Hayden. I was right, knew they were friends.

Purity sighed inwardly, noticing the obvious resemblance. "Is that your brother?"

I nodded, "Yeah that's Channing, the most annoying brother you'll ever meet, trust me."

We walked past the cafe, and a small store called E-ware.

"I really think we should get some matching computer cases, in blue." Purity suggested. "Something cutesy but not overly bleh." Without truly checking for a reaction Purity grabbed both of our wrists and half-dragged us towards a store called Trinkets Bags and Blue. Purity swung her hips a little as the cafe came out of view.

"What about this one? We can all get our names on it!" Rebecca called out, holding up a customizable bag.

"Hey! We could all get a different one, since there are three." I saw her nearly drop the case she was holding as Hayden walked by, which was weird because she didn't like him right?

"Um, ok." said Rebecca a little sadly "But i get the one with my name on it!" she winked.

I'll be honest, I wasn't really paying attention to them. I actually already had a laptop case, gift from mom. But I decided to play along and get another one. Why not? But then I remembered she had tried to show off her butt to him too. And now that I think about it, she winked at him when she walked on the train. Bit*h. But whatever, if she wanted competition I was going to bring it.

I looked to Rebecca, she was pretty. And probably had more experience with guys then I had. A few boyfriends meant nothing now. I wrinkled my eyebrow like a friend would and turned to her.

"Ok ur pretty and you know about guys, if person A likes person B and person A thinks person B likes her...i mean them too, what should person A do ? Like i dont know" I looked around, pretending to be anxious, "I've never actually not know what to do before, like ever." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. I was good at playing the needy role. But I could see Hayden out of the corner of my eye still.

"Well, person A should just talk to person B duh!" Rebecca said back smiling. Then I saw him leave.

"You know what, I'm just going to talk to him." I stopped realizing what I said. " what i mean is, yeah thanks for the advice, I'll be right back" I went following in the direction that I saw Hayden go. I decided to use the flirting tactic that always worked if you were pretty, just go up to him and talk.

I went into the clothing store and saw him standing by a rack, looking at a tighter fitting athletic shirt. I took a breath, put on my pretty confident face, and went for it.

"That look's nice" I said gesturing to the current blue shirt he was debating on. I stood next to him, noticing how much hotter he was close up.

Hayden smiled, laughing slightly, "I havent tried it on yet. Who knows? It could be one of those shirts that looks better on the hanger." He took it anyways. "Youre an initiate right?"

I was already wondering if I should take that as good or bad. Good like, "Your an initiate right?" as in he already knew, which meant he had been paying attention. Or bad like "Your an initiate right?" As in he thought he reconsided me but wasn't sure.

"initiate, yup. and I'm 90% it will look good on you " I winked a little, trying to be cute and flirty, not slutty. I started going through the rack and looked back to him and smiled. "Your a tutor, right?" I said back in return for fun, pretending like I didn't know. It seemed like every initiate girl was talking about how cute he was behind his back already.

"Oh ouch only 90%? So theres a 10% chance it will look awful. Those are pretty good odds," Hayden said with a smile. He smiled slightly, extending his hand. "Yeah. Im Hayden. The initiate's tutor/leader. Or at least thats the title I gave myself," he said to me.

I grinned, shaking his hand and deciding that now that I've talked to him, I liked Hayden even more now. And he was definitely too good for Purity. "Chase, future Erudite leader. Or at least that's the title I gave myself"

"Confident. I like that," he said with a smile. "Im gonna go try this on." He said to as he grabbed the shirt and walked to the dressing room.

I had butterflies as I waited because, well we were actually talking and it was easy. "Hm," he said looking at his reflection as he came out.

Ok let me just explain, when he came out in that shirt I literally died. First I almost died of embarrassment when I said sexy out loud because that's what he looked like. Then I didn't want him to think that I was like Purity and calling a guy I just met sexy. Then my cheeks turned bright pink, and I almost died again. Like my eyes had gotten wide for a second because he had some real muscle and all and well, I was a teenage girl.

Well after I almost died of embarrassment, I gave up and pretended to be really interested in an imaginary bug or something in my strand of blue hair.

I guess I was lucky because he didn't seem to notice me and when he did, he raised his eyebrow asking if I was ok. Then I gave a smile and nod before he went back into the dresding room to change back into his normal outfit.

I guess he was just really nice, or maybe he didn't hear me. I frownd, and began to brush my hair with my fingers combing out the knots. Then I began debating weather or not to curl it tomorrow. Curling my hair took time, but I only did it when I wanted to impress someone. I turned my head to the side, my lips forming a cute pout for a second before Hayden came back out of the dressing room.

"Are you from this faction or did you transfer?"

"Im from here" Chase said flipping her hair, "what about you were you from this fraction? You seem pretty strong for an Erudite born." I complimented, but I figured he was born here. And since he was hanging with Channing, I figured he was the guy who beat him in initation.

"Im from here too. How come I havent seem you around before," he asked, rasing his eyebrow as if to recout every time we could've met.

I was curious too. "Honestly, I don't know," I slightly tilted my head," Im surprised I havnt seen you because I know almost everyone." He looked familiar but we have never talked. "How old are you?" I asked, maybe that would change something.

Hayden scrunched his eyebrows in thought. But he eventually gave up and shrugged. "I don't know. You just look really familiar," he stated. "Im 18. I'll be 19 in a few months though. You?"

"16, I'm an intitate remember?," I said playfully. I thought about how old he was, and thought that Channing had to know him, they were practicly the same age. I gave up, figuring that I could at least text him and see what he knew. I know that they at least know each other, but what I wanted to know was how well.

_Hey, i just met this guy and he says hes ur age, Erudite born, but i didnt know him and i wanted 2 c if u did. His names Hayden._

"Well I dont know. You could also be 17 you know," he said with a smile. Hayden looked at the clothing while I texted Channing. "So if youre from Erudite, why are you hanging with kids outside of here? Did you know them previously?"

"I dont know, new friends new begining? Mabye sabotage the competition,"I joked, smiling with perfect teeth.

"Play smart though. You don't want things to come back and bit you," he said making a biting noise. He laughed slightly.

_Yeah he's one of my best friends. Certified genius, no lie. How do you know him?_

My face changed in surprise as she read Channing's text, "Uh I didnt know you were best friends with my brother," Chase scrolled down inthe text, "and your a certified genious, nice" She texted Channing back.

_Oh you know, he's helping the initiates this year_

He wrinkled his eyebrows, then his eyes went wide. "Youre Channing's little sister?!" "Oh.. Yeah.. I am," he said shrugging. "I gotta go," he said quickly after paying for the shirt.

And then I realized, In my blur of girlyness, I had made a bug mistake. Telling him that he knew my brother. I was stupid, best friends can't date the other guy's sister. I'm pretty sure guys even had like a code for that.

_Don't try anything. Mom already wants him to be her right hand man whenever he's old enough. Plus he's out of your league. And I will hurt him if he tries anything with you._

Of corse, mom. And not to help Channing's disapproval. So I really just did f*ck everything up. And then I read it again, starting to get slightly more annoyed. He was not out of my league! Ok maybe I wasn't upset anymore, I was p*ssed off.

_Ok first of all, I can try what I want, and second he is not out of my league thank you very much and I swear if you hurt him for flirting with me i'll be p*ssed._

Like I wasn't already now.

I went back to the store to find Purity and Rebecca, feeling slightly bad that I left them to go flirt with a guy, who in turn left when he found the relation between me and my brother. Part of me really wanted to just blame this whole thing on Channing. Of corse, he texted back,

___He is almost 19 years old, Chase. He's too old for you. Go ask mom about what she thinks about you dating him. Hayden doesnt know who our parents are. I may not be the boss of him, but Im not letting him date you. You dont need any distractions. You need to rank high in this initiation._

I smirked, so did he but that didn't go exactly as planned. Why? Hayden. I decided that figuring out he was the guy to beat my brother made me like him more.

_Its only not even 3 years,and i bet mom would be happy that i found a guy that meets her hes not a distraction, and we all know im,going to rank high, mom wouldnt let me fail and embarrass her, wait Hayden dosent know?_ What a great best friend you are. _Your best friends and he dosent even know that ur mom is the leader of the fraction? Nice job P.S. i didnt ask your permission to date him._

__I met back up with the girls, and we continued to shop and enjoy our free time, like we should. It was just my annoying brother who couldn't just let me have my way. One thing about me was that once I had my mind set on something, it didn't go away. Once when I was 13 I asked my mom for a pet turtle and she didn't really want any pets, I guess there a distraction from school or something. So for almost a year I kept asking and begging and I even put together a presentation with facts and crap about why I should get a turtle and guess who got one for their 14th birthday?

_I didnt want to tell him because I didnt want it ruining our friendship. You know how it went with Tyler once he found out who was our mom. he kept bugging me to get him a job and all that nonsense. PS: I dont care because you got it anyway. He is off limits, so stop trying Chase._

He had a point. Tyler was this guy who pretty much became friends with Channing for connections. It didn't that way at first they really were friends. But then he found out and kept asking for a job and it got really annoying because I had to hear Channing complain about it for a month. Still, i hadn't had that problem because most of my friends didn't know...ohhhh. Stupid Channing and him being stupidly right. Sometimes I hated when we both agreed, because even know i was right, he was right too.

We eventually went back to the dorms and I gave up on Channing. I wasn't going to argue a moot point. Then it got late and everyone was going to bed, which meant I was going to get some work done. Because I was a night owl.

I sat criss cross on my bed, on my laptop ready to start. I was already in my blue pajamas, and my hair was brushed out so I could curl it in the morning. I even had my little coffee mug on my side table in case I got tired. Like I said, I was ready for some major brainstorming. There was just one thing distracting me...Hayden.

I saw Rebecca sneak in and decided to pretend I didn't. There would be time for where were you's tomorrow. But I kept thinking about when we were flirting earlier. It was nice. I hadn't really flirted since Jayson, which I was now going to refer to as the blue hair incident. I just felt natural with him and it sucked that I had ruined it. I decided two things. A) that I was going to have to start this essay if I wanted any chance of ranking high. And second, if getting Hayden's attention was going to be a challenge, then challenge accepted.


	14. Find Your Pace

Kim

We were called to exit the train one by one. It was strange, to hear my name called again like that. "Kimberly Danica" I was really starting to hate my full name out loud.

Jonathan called me, so I went with him, not really sure what to expect. I mean how many times does an older guy call your name and then ask you to come with them to a place you weren't familiar with? Not many.

I started walking down the path with him when all of the sudden a guy ran at me with a knife. Well if your trying to guess what I did I'll make it easy on you, I screamed. I screamed and then the Erudite brain I have started processing all the different options of what I could do in this situation. This wasn't helpful when a man was charging at you and you had, I don't know maybe 20 seconds to come up with a plan.

But then I found out it was a hologram,and that I was stupid for thinking that Amity had guys with knifes just charing around at initiates and that strange older men asked you to come with them. I calmed down as he told me I passed the first test of initiation.

After everyone else passed, we were free to spend some time together. I looked around and saw Cesca with another girl, who had a stomach that was round. She looked like she was pregnant, but she was wearing gray. She had pretty copper hair and green eyes. From judging the size of that bump, I would say 7 or 8 months in. Another thing you didn't see everyday in Erudite, Abnegation 16 and Pregnant girls.

I walked over to the two girls, but Lexi was called away by the trainer. Remember the happy go lucky girl? Yeah that one. Then I noticed Toni out of the corner of my eye. I started to look a bit more, noticing his features. But then Francesca nudged me and I snapped out of it. No boys Kim.

"So, what did she say?" I immeadalty asked when the pregnant girl, Lexi, came back.

Lexi grabbed her stomach in slight pain,"Wanted to know my story behind the belly"

"Oh..." I nodded, but I wanted the details. I guess I was being invasive but I couldn't handle curiosity. "So, what is the story behind it?" I asked, trying to be causal like a friend would ask what the paper you had to write for class was about. The problem was that I barley knew her to be honest.

Then I listened as Lexi explained the whole story. Apparently she had a boyfriend, they did it, and then he left her in the morning with a note. It sucked and I felt bad for her.

"Does anyone know where I can get water?" she asked once she was done.

"Yeah, theres a water fountain over there," I said pointing. This is why I don't date. I didn't want Lexi and her ex-boyfriend to be me and Toni.

Lexi smiled and drank water happily. "there is a few bonuses to being pregnant like-Oh my gosh! The babies kicking feel!" She said getting excited.

I got excited when she saw the baby was kicking and remembered when my mother was pregant with Kim, and Khelssee. Then got a little homesick, starting to miss them already, But I was happy for Lexi and smiled. "This is so exciting! We can take care of the baby and we can throw a baby shower and everything!" I said, sounding a bit more Amity then I thought was possible for me.

"What's a baby shower?" Lexi asked me, confused.

"OMG You dont know what a baby shower is! Its when we throw you a party and we give you gifts and play games and eat cake!" I guess baby's and parties brought out the Amity in me.

Lexi nodded, "Sounds like fun. What do people do here?"

I shrugged, " I dont know I was from Erudite, but the people hee seem all nice and artsy and sing songy."

Then Jonathan came and led us to the orchids, where we were told to pick up enough apples to fill a basket. I started to pick, and to be honest picking was boring. But I did notice when Toni finished and put some apples in Lexi's basket. I smiled, deciding he wasn't such a bad guy after all.

I wasn't like listening into their conversation or anything, but I kinda was. I was curious how Toni was around other girls, but I didn't hear too much. I turned around though when he said he already knew Lexi's full name. Creepy... I was wondering how he knew. He was from Dauntless and she was from Abnegation so they probably never talked. I shurgged, not wanting to be nosy.

A little while later, I finished picking and headed over with the others who were done.

"Initiates it is 2:15 please report back at 4 thank you and have fun shopping" Jonathan announced, and we were free to shop, something I seriously needed to do.

I went over to Lexi and Cesca, "You guys wanna shop together?" I asked, flipping my black hair back and smiling.

Lexi nodded and Cesca responded with sure. I grinned as we left to go do what I did best.

After shopping for a while and buying a good amount, Lexi noticed the baby stuff. "I should probably get a few stuff."

"Oooo!" Cesca squealed as the two of us followed her to the baby stuff. We picked out some cute gender neutral clothes, with animals and fruit on it. Then Lexi grabbed a few pacifiers and all of the sudden broke down.

"Who am I kidding I can't do this! I'm gonna fail and mess up the child's life!" She said, sitting down hands in her face.

We immeadlty rushed to her side to comfort her, "Oh now your not and eh I will teach her to be honest, Kim to be smart, and you best of all to be selfless and she'll be in the best faction for kids to grow up in, you'll have support don't worry."

I nodded encouraging, "Youll be a great mother," I smiled, looking through the baby clothes Hoping to What about his one?" I asked holding up a little pink onsie.

Lexi sighed and looked at the onesie. "I dont even know the gender." she admitted.

"That's okay I alot of people do that on purpose so that it can be surprise!" Cesca chimed in.

Lexi smiled. "You guys are too kind. i should get a stroller..."

"They are over there, we only have 5 more minutes of shopping time left though cause it takes 5 min to get back to the meeting place," Cesca explained, and I nodded.

"So let's spend our last few minutes wisely!" I exclaimed.

Lexi nodded. "Then can you help me pick one?

"Definitely" I said smiling, going over to the strollers. "Ohh this one?"I said pointing to a little red one.

Lexi nodded looking at the cute apple patterned seat. "This is nice. Lets get it and go"

Lexi payed and we walked back to the meeting spot, then we all walked back to the dorms.

When I got in, I found my bed. It had a white frame with a yellow and red polka doted comforter. I looked through the drawers, already finding a red hoodie that said AMITY in yellow letters.

"These dorms are nice" I said to the girls as we looked around.

Then I decided to get dressed for dinner, wanting to look causal and cute. I put on some black yoga pants and my black UGG boots and a gold sparkly head band. I even curled my hair and put on light makeup. I admired the girl in the mirror, forgetting for a second that it was me and not some other girl. Then I smiled, "Ready for dinner?" I asked, playing with my newly curled bouncy curls.

When I got downstairs I stood in line getting my food, then Toni came over and of corse we were matching. He chuckled, obviously noticing. "Hey Toni"

"Toni Anderling" his voice was called by Jonathan, who returned his dropped sunglasses.

"Oops sorry Kimberly dropped my glasses how was shopping?" He asked me

I smiled, "We got some cute baby stuff for Lexi"

"Got my shopping done really quickly to get it over with and ate ice cream, you seem like enough of a fashionista, what do you think of my gettup?" he asked hip bumping me with a wink as I adorably lost my balance but quickly regained it with a laugh.

I smirked, looking him up and down like I was surveying his outfit but I was checking him out. "Hm..I don't know. You could use some work" I teased.

"On what I think I look pretty damn sexy?" Toni said eyebrow raised. Then he turned around and saw Lexi, then he turned back to me with a weird expression.

I saw Lexi over Toni's shoulder, she looked like she'd saw a ghost or somthing, but I looked back to Toni. "You? Sexy?" I raised an eyebrow, "Come on," I teased

"Come on you know I am"

"Nope," I shook my head, my curls bouncing as I did. "Annoying mabye. sexy? definitly not."

"So if it's only a maybe to annoying couldn't this also mean that I could be not annoying and you are enjoying this?"

I smiled a little when he caught that. I guess he's not just a stupid jock. "Ok so Im enjoying it a little, just a little."

Toni had a confident smile creep onto his lips and went to put an arm around me but the touch tingled... That had never happened before? It was weird I felt like I got butterflies.

Then Lexi came over, "You have a brother?"

Toni gulped, "Yes"

And I just looked between the two of them wondering why that was relevant.

"S-so your my babies uncle?"

"Yes, but I want you to know I hate him too," he whispered and then grabbed his food.

"Uncle?" I looked at Toni, then to Lexi and realised what was going on and decided to stay quiet. Wow, so Toni's brother was the douche that got Lexi pregnant...no wonder I had gotten weird vibes from Toni earlier.

"Well i wont judge you for your brothers actions." Lexi smiled. And I honestly stood with them feeling awkward not sure if I should leave them alone. So I went to eat with Cescia, afterwards I went up to the common room to relax.

Somehow, I got lucky enough to go up with Toni. "So now your gonna be an uncle?" I asked him, chuckling at the idea with him and small children.

"Yeah, me and a small child may not end well," he said with a little chuckle.

"Oh yeah, your the last person id trust with any children" I teased.

"I wouldn't trust a child with me either," Toni said string down on a plush sofa perching his arm on the back of it.

"So, " I said turning on the sofa to face him, "Whats Dauntless like?"

"A day in the life of the dauntless: wake up, go to school, pretend to learn, come back, eat cake, jump off some things and flirt. What about Erudite?"

"Hmm lets see, wake go to school. get an A in every subject, come home, study for at least an hour, look up stuff on a computer and read books," she said shuttering, "Not very fun, too much work. You wouldn't last a day"

"You wouldn't last a day in Dauntless"

I raised my eyebrow, "I'm stronger then you think, I would do fine in Dauntless." I challenged. Ok maybe I wouldn't but I hated when people underestimated me. I liked to at least tell myself I would do fine in any faction.

"Maybe, but in Dauntless you have to flirt back with people," said Toni.

"I could flirt back, if here was someone worth flirting with."

"Ah, think about that in Dauntless they just look and flirt," he continued.

"Well I'm picky about who I flirt with," I flipped her curly hair, "I don't just flirt with anyone, theres requiremts"

"Picky, picky, and this is why you couldn't be Dauntless," he said.

Kim rolled her eyes, "Picky is good, it means I have standards unlike some people" I had a point, there was a reason I didn't want to flirt with Shane, let alone start dating him. Because as soon as he got what he wanted he went right back to, insert shudder here, Shelby Wilson. Ok I didn't hate Shelby, she just got on my nerves.

"Fine them, Ill just find another guy to talk to," I said crossing her arms with a fake pout

"Fine then," he said moving away from me and sat on an orange love seat.

I stuck her touge out him quickly, and turned to go talk to another Amity tranfer boy. "Fine then Toni" I said going over to a group of guys. I was hoping that jealous was a cute color on Toni.

The problem was that the guys were ignoring me. I have to admit, I haven't been ignored many times. Not that like I was attention grabbing, but I was above average enough that I wasn't completely ignored.

"Go away chick we are having guy talk try him," the guys said pointing over to Toni. Something was definitely up.

I rolled my eyes, "Im not talking to _him_ why cant I talk to you?" I asked flirting, winking a little, and flipping my hair. There was no way that I was actually being ignored after that.

"Cause we are busy right now, talking bout how hot that one tan girl is, spicy," they said and I knew it was an attempt to get me to leave.

I gave up, deciding to take all of the more then obvious hints and going to sit down. Just not with Toni.

Toni just sat there by me, flipping his gorgeous hair and trying to look irresistible. It was sneaky, and I was going to play just as hard.

I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of me talking to him first. So I slowly and seuductivly ran my fingers through my hair, letting my lips form a cute pout.

Then Toni stopped looking at me even through the corner of his eye, and I needed a plan to look sexier without looking slutty.

Then we were both at a stand still and I couldn't take it anymore. Luckily, neither could he and we turned around at the exact same time. And I started laughing at how silly that just was.

"Wow, same time that's kinda freaky" I said smiling. Then I looked at him some more, "You are a weird guy you know that?"

"Me? How?"

"U just are, I dont know, your different then the other guys ive met, I guess because I usually only talk to Erudite guys"

Toni's arm was wrapped on top of the love seat tapping a rhythm, "That's because they are too concerned about their grades."

Kim shrugged and smiled, "Yeah I guess so, your just more laid back then they are"

I grinned, this was going to be the start of a great...friendship. Who knows, I may even let him call me Kim one day.


	15. Find Your Mind

Chase

"Get up girls!"

I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, a beautiful harp and piano playing music as I stretched and smiled perfectly at the oh so perfect wake up scene. Oh wait wrong fantasy. Instead I got Artemis's voice.

"Why cant we just sleep!" moaned I and fell back onto my bed and covering my hair with a blue pillow. "Uhh the world hates me" I continued, wanting to go back to sleep. I guess I'll admit, when people wake me up I'm not a pleasant person to be around. Remember Bridezilla Chase? She's back!

All I needed was a mental pep talk, and I got up and picked up my brush and began to brush my hair. It was something calming to do in the mornings. I looked over to Rebecca waking up and decided now was as good a time as any to start asking questions.

"Hey Rebecca, " I cautiously started, " where were you yesterday?" And by yesterday I meant last night, but she got the jist.

Rebecca began walking to the shower. "Like you even care, you two totally ditched me...anyways I like went on a date with jake. I totally think we could be a thing. It feels like the real deal."

Artemis sighed. "Boys, wake up before I dump water on you guys." I guess the guys were more tired then us girls. And I was pretty tired.

Then I heard Hayden's voice, "Let's go boys"

I turned around and saw Artemis through her arms around him, "Thank goodness! nowI don't have to face the big bad initiates all alone." She joked before looking back in the boys dorm. a few hadn't woke up so she grabbed a piture,filled it with ice cold water,and went inside the room. I could see her barley, but she dumped it on a boy.

Then I laughed, I decided I was liking this Artemis girl. Another thing I decided, I was going to focus. Channing was right, I didn't need any more distractions. I could worry about getting a boyfriend after initation was over, and I won of corse.

I suddenly wasn't tired anymore, and I picked up my tablet and began looking through the various options. Then I decided on a white frilled shirt with white shorts and a light blue blazer. I went to my drawer, and it appeard already sized.

After showering etc. I choose to go with a cute, but serious look. So I grabbed my silver curling iron until I saw blonde ringlets, and then added a cute necklace, shoes, and light makeup. I felt ready.

I went back into the dorm continuing with Rebecca, "Hey I didnt mean to ditch you, i thought Purity was with you. I went to talk to a guy, nothing big. I think its great that the two of you could be a thing." Her and Jake were farther along then me and Hayden, and she didn't have the family barrier.

Rebecca sighed and pulled on a blue barbie-like dress with white polka dots and a white pair of flats. after putting on makup she stared at the pink color of the gloss. "Why don't they make dresses in this color? I mean it would bo so fanfrickin tastic."

I nodded, "I bet they do, you just havn't found it yet." I was half paying attention, half inspecting my curling job. What can I say, I'm a perfectionist. "Come on let's go up to the lab" I said to Rebecca, motioning her to come with me.

When we got to the lab, we waited to hear Artemis's instructions. Hayden walked in and of corse I looked right to him, then I looked back to Artemis. No distractions.

"I know its early, everyone," he addressed loudly to get the newbies attention. "Artemis and I are here to help answer any questions and proof read anything you have. Also to tell you if a cite is creditable," he said with a smile, "Dont be hesitant to ask for anything."

Anything? I wasn't going to let my imagination run wild with that one.

"I hope you all know how to do MLA formatting, also you'll need a thesis statement." She quickly grabbed some small clear tubes in a small bin. "I want you all to pull out a strand of hair, put it in the tube, and write your name on it. Don't ask questions just do what your told."

I listened to her, and as soon as she mentioned the hair, my brain couldn't focus. And by that I mean I was having one of those moments where I thought out everything. I already wanted to figure out why they needed the hair, what It was for. Who it was for. Then I blinked, snapping out of it. No distractions.

Artemis handed the bin to an initiate and pulled open a PowerPoint presentation. "You will need a heading, first and last name,and a date. Example: Ima rockin 3/18/12 then of coarse you will need a page number at the top right corner. The font you use should be times new roman twelve point and there should be double spacing so we don't kill our eyes reading your essay's. Make sure you have a catchy title and a good thesis statement. Hayden would you like to explain what a thesis statement is?"

Seriously? We had to be explained what a thesis statrment was? I got up early to hear definitions I already know? Wait, that was probably my sleep depervision Talking.

Hayden stood in the back, and has his arms crossed over his chest. He looked at the kids screens, seeing how many were actually listening. When Artemis said his name, he got off the wall. He walked toward the front while talking. "The thesis statement basically states the claim of the argument presented in a paper. A thesis statement is usually one sentence, though it may occur as more than one. The thesis is in the beginning of the paper. And it basically explains to the reader what your key points are going to be in your paper" he said almost dictionary like definition due to him having such a high IQ." For your paper though, dont use the word 'you, we, or us' as often. It looks less educated. Unless you are a genius in the field of study, don't use the word 'you," he said to the kids looking at them.

"A thesis statement can A. Test your ideas by distilling them into a sentence or two. B. Help you better organize and develop your argument and it provides the reader with a guide to to your argument. Now there are five easy steps to developing your thesis statement." Artemis turned and flipped the slide.

I gave up even trying to listen, and decided on the very convincing pretending to listen. It wasn't like I was a cocky know-it-all, I just knew all of this...ok and I was a little bit cocky.

"Now get started on making your thesis in ten minutes I will check in to see your progress."

I was pretty sure I caught the tail end of her theisis rant, and it was fine with me. That stuf was boring, as in blantantly over reducing interst (to) nothing...great. I guess I was in one of those moods again.

I began to start my essay, since I had a lot of time to ponder last night. I over heard something about Rebecca forgetting what her paper was about and I felt bad, I wasn't sure how she was going to pass initation if she couldn't even write the paper, or remember what it was about for that matter.

"The Phycology and Sociology of Leadership: What It Takes to Lead By: Chase Matthews" I loved it. And I was going to even put my middle initial but I figured it was too much. But I was happy with the...title. Ok I guess that really didn't count for much in the paper grand scheme but it can only help being perfect in all aspects.

So I began to write. Which was not that hard because I knew what I was doing. I got a lot of research done and the bookmark bar on my computer was full that I started to make folders with in the essay folder, alphabetically by source and topic of corse. That way I could stay organized.

"So, hows your paper coming?" I asked leaning over to Purity. I had thought about her over night and I wasn't as mad as I was yesterday. And to be honest she wasn't as bad as I was thinking she was, I guess just a bit more PDA then usual. But a small wink and a small point if butstickoutness wasn't bad enough for me to hate someone, because I probably did the same thing for a guy once.

"Just fine, thanks. What about yours? You look like your half done already!" shaking her head in amazement Purity replied.

I smiled at Purity, "Sorta, i mean its not like I've been looking forward to this for years or anything..." Ok maybe not years, but I had been preparing here and there for a while. If you were Erudite born and planning to stay you were stupid not to.

I smiled at Purity, "Sorta, i mean its not like I've been looking forward to this for years or anything..." Ok maybe not years, but I had been preparing here and there for a while. If you were Erudite born and planning to stay you were stupid not to.

I looked for Hayden, not that I was like still on that topic anymore. Ok I was lets be real here crushes don't just disappear overnight, and I actually liked Hayden. He was helping Rebecca with some math stuff. I was good at math but not like the best math person ever.

I figured if the only way to get Hayden to come over and talk was to...ask questions? Yeah that was not my style actually. I didn't like to talk in class, raise my hand etc. weird right? I just didn't. I guess I hated the possibility of the teacher saying I was wrong.

Then I frowned, because if I was going to ask for help I needed a question. And there was right or wrong to questions. So I wouldn't ask a question, I'd ask for an opinion. Because opinions didn't have right or wrong.

I pushed a strand of hair behind my hair and agreed with my earlier thoughts, I needed a break from writing because if I finished it today then I would look way to cocky. So I needed something opinionated...quotes. Quotes could always be taken multiple ways. So I went on the internet and picked out a random quote, "The State of your life is nothing more than a reflection of the state of your life"

I shrugged, because my quote was not spectacular nor did it have anything to do with my paper. I even already figured it out. But I didn't care. I just liked talking to Hayden. I called him over, saying I needed his help.

I saw Artemis sigh, which she shouldn't of. It was obvious what I was doing and she probably had done the same thing for a guy before. Hasn't everyone tried the I need help ploy? But whatever if she didn't like my doings I didn't care, I needed something else to do other then the essay.

Hayden came over and pulled up the stool next to me. Mission accomplished. "Yes" he said with an eyebrow raised. He smelled pretty good, he was chewing mint gum and had some cologne which if I was right, it was Chanel.

Ok question mode on, flirting mode off. "Hey," I started. Good start. "So I was thinking about writing a quote into my paper, but i wasnt quite sure what it meant." I cocked my head slightly to the side like I was thinking. But the quote was too obvious.

Hayden leaned forward slightly to read the quote. His eyebrows scrunched together in thought. He put elbow on the table and his hand on his chin. "Well.. The quote itself is simple. But whats the topic of your paper again," he asked as he turned to look at me.

"Leadership," I said, figuring there was no way to even connect the two. "Yeah I wasn't quite sure..." No I was sure, I wasn't planning on using it.

Hayden looked at the quote, "It doesnt really give the meaning of leadership. The underline message is more of finding yourself," he said looking at the screen. "Its a good quote. But not something I would put in my paper if it deals with leadership. I could help you find a different quote if you want. But we dont have much time here, so it would have to be in my office," he said, which made me smile. But just a bit, I didn't want to seem eger.

Then I heard Purity in the background stressing over me and Hayden, "Oh. My. Dear. God." I prayed she would shut up. "You, just ask him if he likes your essay," she said motioning to me, "And you say, 'Yes it's great wanna eat dinner together? Then you date happily" I closed my eyes for a second, pretending not to hear her at all.

I decided to take his invite as a chance to hang out more with, "Sure, that would be great." I smiled, "Whenever you can help me find a quote" I added, looking at his green eyes and trying to figure out if he wanted to hang out with her, or if he was just trying to be helpful.

"Hang on," Hayden said to me, looking over to Shaun and Artemis who were fighting. I was kinda rooting for Shaun, since I was getting the vibes that Artemis didn't like me.

Hayden walked over and stood in front of Shaun, towering over him. He gave him a treating look, and then spoke in a low and even voice. It was intimidating  
"I don't like this acting out and disrespect your giving Artemis. If you don't learn to shit up and work you will have some serious issues here. She may not be able to kick you out, but I can. So stop acting like a tough guy and get to work. Because I can and will make your life a living hell." He looked at the two idiots sitting next to Shaun, "If you two idiots don't want to rank low I suggest you work. That goes for everyone. We are here because we want you guys to do well. If you don't want our help, then the door is right here. See you on the outskirts with the Factionless. Because if you don't rank a high enough IQ your Gone. And this essay is work a LOT of points. "

Then everyone was silent.

Artemis's face was stern, "You really should reconsider your actions. I want a one-thousand word apology essay for disrupting your fellow initiatiates. You will then read it out to everyone tomorrow. And when you do you better have most of it memorized."

I bit my lip, trying to stifle laughing at Shaun. Seriously, he was stupid and now he was going to pay for it. And I was curious to here what this essay would sound like. I saw Shaun cringe and regret his actions. I bet they would let you get away with that kinda crap in Dauntless.

"Ok ok I'm sorry, I'll be good" he said in a serious, apologetic voice.

Initiation was like the Hunger Games, and Shaun just p***ed off the game makers. I sighed and looked at Purity, figuring she was eating this up.

"Thank you," Hayden said to Shaun, then he looked to Artemis before comming back over to me and sitting down. He ran his fingers through his spiked hair.  
"Ok, so where were we?" He asked me looking at my screen.

I smiled, "We were just talking about meeting to help me find a quote for my essay," I tucked one of my curls behind my ear and it fell back so I let it bounce.

"Right, when would you like to meet and discuss?"

"I'm open whenever you are. Tonight, tomorrow?" I shrugged, I wanted to stay flexible and causal. I didn't want to be dictatory or weird or anything.

Hayden took out his phone, "Tomorrow would be better because I have to work on a new project for Channing and we have to work on it tonight. But you could come if you want...seeing he is your brother." he said casually back.

Great...he wanted to hang out with me, and my brother. We couldn't do anything with Channing giving us looks the whole time. Well like not exactly us doing anything but still.

"Yeah, sure. Tonight's great." I smiled, maybe Channing would act all weird and it would be kinda funny. "Thanks for helping me" I said, meaning it, I guess a good quote could always help an essay.

Hayden smiled back, "Sounds good be at my office at like 9pm," he nodded. Then he smirked at me,

"Great 9 works," I said noticing how cute he was looking today. Like he looked professional but yet causal. Focus, this was about work. Then I saw him smirk and the flirty said came back. "What are you smirking about" I asked him playfully.

"Channing bailed because he apparently already had plans that were more important our presentation." He said with a smirk look. "Bring a flashdrive" he added before getting up, because Artemis had dismissed us.

I grinned at the thought of Channing not being there, which meant that we could talk, alone. Then I remembered Purity asking me something about a dress? I wasnt paying much attention but I was going to wing it.

"Ok ill help you find a dress. " I said, "lets go to the mall?" She seemed to take that well, and I needed something to wear with Hayden. Something cute, yet professional. Flirty, yet effortless. I needed to shop


	16. Find Your Seed

Kim

Baby showers. I've got to admit, baby showers combine two of my favorite things. Babies, and parties. 3 if you count excuses to eat cake but not feel guilty.

So yes, before the shower I was beaming with excitement. Me and Cescia had planned the entire thing and Jonathan gave us the day off. We had decorated the whole room yellow and green, because we weren't sure of the gender. Lexi seemed fine with either, but to be honest I really...really wanted a girl.

I know I know, Im not the pregnant one or anything, but girls had so many advantages. We were smarter, we were prettier, we thought things out more. We were more mature. Girls were amazing. Now I started to think of reasons guys had advantages, but I pushed those out of my head and focused on the benefit of being a female. I guess the real reason I wanted Lexi to have a girl was...baby shopping! And all of the fun things we could do with her. And honestly, I was missing my little sisters.

"OMG Im so excited, this is going to be the best baby shower evah!" I exclaimed. Ok I was seriously starting to sound Amity...Was I turning into a giggly Amity girl? Nahh, it had to just be the party.

After everyone finished breakfast, they came up for the party. We had a chair already set up for Lexi and everything. She seemed truly greaftul, which was so nice. Sometimes I forgot she was from Abnegation and was wondering where she got it from.

"Man I got bad braxton hicks." She told Cescia.

"Oh well hey have some water it can help!" she said taking presents and putting them under the large window.

Lexi smiled. "Thank you so much,really. Nobody had to do anything." See this is what I mean about her overall kindness. Sometimes I wonder if I could've survived in Abnegation, then I look at Lexi and I just know I couldn't of, I'm not that nice.

"Your _so _welcome! And of corse we had to throw this for you! Thats what friends are for," I explained, glad that we were friends now.

"Exactly," Cescia agreed with me, nodding.

Lexi smiled. "Thank you guys so much

I looked around as we had the party and did baby shower games ect. Me and Cesica had done a pretty good job. We had the yellow and green decor and a small white table that had a white cake with yellow and green polkadots and a teddy bear on top. There were gifts for the future baby all around the table and It looked like something out of a magazine. I saw Lexi tear up and I could tell she was touched.

I clapped my hands together in excitement, "Ok gift time!" I said ushering Lexi over to the round table with presents. There was a chair for her to sit. "Ok go ahead," I motioned for her to open anyone she wanted, while everyone crowded around to watch.

Lexi smiled, and I could tell she was feeling odd opening gifts infront of people. "Thank you." She said sitting down as she began opening gifts. I remembered, she was a Stiff. No from Abnegation...force of habit.

Then all of the sudden she dropped the box she was holding and sat foreaward in pain.

I rushed over to her, "Lex are you alright?" I asked her, hoping it was another cramp as I watched her cringe.

"What's wrong?" Cescia exclaimed.

Lexi bit her tongue. "It just hurts. I need to go get some-" Standing up her words were cut off by her water breaking.

Then it was a blur. Jonathan announced that we needed to take her to the Emergency room and me, Cescia and Toni went with him. There was no way the baby was ready to come out. 7 months wasn't even safe. It was super premature.

"You guys are as freaked out as me right?" I whispered as we got inside, and Jonathan explained why he was with a 16 year old girl who was shrieking in pain. Oh yeah and 3 tagalongs.

"Yup," the two replied in unison.

Lexi bit her tongue in pain. "Im only seven months and two weeks."

I tried to remember everything we learned about babies. Seven months, two weeks was really early. The bays brain must have just gotten smoother, and mabye its in the heads down position, but defintly not ready to come out. I was surprised I remembered even that much.

"your the Euridite, what's gonna happen to the baby?" Cesca asked

"Ex-Erudite," I shrugged, focusing hard. "Well, it should survive, but may not be able to eat breath or stay warm by itself," I concentrated then relaxed, "Yeah it should be fine, it may need medical care for a little but I'm pretty sure they'll both be ok," I sighed, calming down

"do they have incubators here?" Cescia asked as I heard Lexi groan.

"They should," I turned to Lexi, "Your gonna be fine just breathe" Yup, that was the best I came up with.

"What do I do?" She asked, but then I heard Cesca start singing a peaceful hymn and I decided I might as well join. I did.

"just listen, breathe, and be Amity"

Well. the next 8 hours Lex was in labour, so I will do you the favor or sparing you the bloody, painful details.

"It's a girl!" The midwife shouted and I beamed. I was already excited for her first sleepover, her first period...her first boyfriend! It was going to be so much fun helping Lexi raise her. Her who did not have a name.

Lexi smiled when they showed her the baby but frowned when they took her out. "Is she ok?" she asked seemingly unsure of the name."Wh-where did they take her?"

"Well shes a premie, so probably to clean her up and to the incubator" I guessed, "But im not sure. Are you exctied to be a mother?" I decided to try to het her mind off of the pains and think of the positives.

"Will she be ok? When can I hold her?"

"She'll probably be fine, don't worry yourself out. But I don't know when you can hold her, I never learned that much."

The consern didnt falter as lexi frowned. "Wh-why'd they take her."

"Shes premautre Lexi, some of her organs my not be fully developed. " I tried to say voice

Lexi tried to get up but realized she was too weakk. putting her face in her hands she tried not to cry. "I didnt want to sleep with him,but it happened. i didnt want to get pregnant,but i cant change that. i most definantly don't want anything happening to9 my baby. "

I felt really bad and tried to rub Lexi back in a comforing way. "Nothings gonna happen to your baby, no ones mad at you for getting pregant its not your fault, its Toni's brothers fault. Just relax Lex, your gonna me fine I promise"

Lexi yawned out of exauhstion but she couldnt sleep. "I dont care whats gonna happen to me I'm worried about my baby"

I gave up on comforting. I decided she was tired and we convicnced her to finally go to sleep. She was as stuborn as me.

"So Uncle Toni how does it feel?" I asked quietly, not to wake Lexi.

"Stressful,"

I quietly giggled, "You havn't even done anything yet,"

"Well she won't rest till she knows the baby is okay"

I nodded. Then the doctor came in baring good news that the baby would be fine. We were all finaly reliefed and we thought we were off duty...but Lexi woke up.

Lexi woke. "The baby? is she ok? can I see her?"

Kim smiled, "The babies fine, i think you can see her?"I said questionly looking to the doctor who nodded.

Then Lexi struggled to get up.

"Mabye we should bring her to you, " I said to Lexi, not wanting her to tire hurself out. I came back holding one of the cutest babies I ad ever sceen.

Lexi looked at her baby. "Can I hold her?" she asked in awe. I nodded and handed over her beautiful daughter, who had goregous blue eyes that reminded me of Toni.

Lexi held the little girl in her arms afraid of braking her. "Shes soo little" She was. Her daughter was so tiny but she was adorable.

"What's her name?" I asked, I had to ask I couldn't go this who time referring to her as the baby.

Lexi thought. "Jessica. Jessica lynn."

"Aww thats such a perfect name!" I said quietly clapping my hands in excitement." Jessica is going to be the most spoiled baby in Amity!" I was already thinking of all the cute baby girl things she could get for her. This would be like my little sisters all over again, and that meant baby shopping galor.

Lexi cuddled jessica close to her. "Hey jessica."

So yes, next were the collections of "so cute! So small! So pretty!" And you get the point. Lex was happy, Jessica was cute. Everyone just thought this moment wad perfect. Wrong, happy go lucky girl had to ruin it.

"Sweetie," Paige addressed the new mother, "I am sorry to be the bringer of bad news, but the baby can't stay with you in the dorm. If you name a sponcer, anyone would be happy to house your baby until initiation is over." Paige added, "Myself included."

Personally, I thought this was just a ploy to get Lexi's baby. I wanted to see a rulebook saying that you couldnt have a baby during intation. It wasnt fair. Anyone could see how attatched Lexi was to that baby. I mean, Jessica.

Lexi frowned. "W-what? w-why?"

I guess I wasnt the only protestor because Cesca was frowning and Toni was glaring, or trying not to but failing.

Lexi tried not to cry but the tears wouldnt hold back. "i-she needs me please don't take my baby."

"has this ever happened before?" Toni asked, I could tell he was trying to form a plan.

Paige was in near tears explaining, but she could see resistance in the eyes of everyone. "Don't shoot the messenger! Babies aren't aloud because they might disturb the others, and because you need to remain focused on your project." Paige sighed, "You know if you don't pass initiation you alone will be factionless." she bit her lip, unsure how to put it, "Your baby is now an Amity, whereas you are not yet. If you fail, you will have to leave your baby." Paige felt a few tears run down her cheek, "I'm so sorry, Lexi."

That didn't seem right, techincally thr baby isn't Amity because she had been born in an Amity hospital. What if someone was traveling between Factions and then they had the baby in another Faction? Ha, they wouldn't be a member of a Faction they would be a memember of the other Faction.

"Wait ask the other girls first!" Cescia pushed

Lexi looked down at jessica. "We could sleep outside. I have enough blankets for her and we could cover the stroller."

"I don't mind her staying in the dorm!" Cescia piped up.

"Me neither!"

Paige sighed, "I hate to be the bad guy, but no!" she grit her teeth, not wanting to continue, "I know you want to be there for your daughter, but this rule is for your protection! Mothers of newborns do not sleep, and you can't afford not to sleep! I'd love to give you a week off, but initiate regulations state that you _have_ to regain training within 5 days, or you are no longer Amity." Paige closed her eyes and again whispered, "I'm so sorry."

Lexi began crying. "Please she needs me."

Yeah, I can't say that my fandom of Happy-go-lucky girl was getting better. Right not I like her like, 10 times less. It probably wasnt her fault that she had to tell us everything, but I was still mad. Right now Paige was being a bi

Asher said something, but I wasn't paying attention to him. "No we'll take shifts watching her, this is the first 2 weeks, please this is when the child needs it's MOTHER most!" cried Cescia.

"its not right." Lexi cried. "I spend seven months carrying this child to miss the all her first firsts." Lexi stood despite her pain and walked out of the room with Jessica to get away from everyone. "I'll protect you i promise." She whispered.

Kim interjected,"The mother needs the baby, the body gives off a chemical that gives it a connection to the baby for a while, its hard for the mother to be away and may not be safe for someone so young."

"Oh please, Kim!"Paige fired back. Ok Paige was getting On my neves, but something told me telling a girl off in Amity was not well appreciated. Plus she seemed like one of those kiss ups who probably had an in with the Amity leader. So I just bit my tounge, glad it was me here and not Chase. She probably would've told her off by now. "Don't you think if we were aloud, we would make an exception?!" Tears flew down Paige's cheek. "Lexi, you and the baby can stay with me until you pass initiation, okay? You will have to go with the other initiates during the day, but you can come home and sleep with the baby."

Lexi looked down. "Please I-ill stay with you at night but during the day she has to be with me." Lexi said eyes lighting up. "Cause if you and Ash are leading us during initiation nobody will be home to be with her. So she has to come with me."

"I will stay with her." Paige relented, "You cannot carry a newborn around!" Paige was slightly horrified. "She will stay home for the 2 or 3 hours you actually do things each day."

"I-i have a stroller." Lexi said. We could all tell she was unconfotrtable with having a stranger hang out with her baby. I wouldn't want Happy-go-lucky with my kid either.

"No," Paige said, "you _cannot_ carry a newborn around! It is _not_ healthy!"

Then I heard Asher say something again, but no one was seriously paying attention to him. This was girl talK.

Lexi held Jessica close in a protective manner."You really think i'm just gonna hand her over? Are you crazy? I mean no offense but I hardly know you."

Paige glared at Asher. "You cannot be seriously offering to have a NEWBORN BABY be MOVED around?" Paige was aghast. "Being in this hallway isn't even healthy!"

I guess Asher offered to move it because Paige was getting all tense on him...poor guy.

"Babe, chill out!" Asher said, rubbing her back in a circular motion. "You can take a baby places its not a piece of glass its a living thing."

"All this yelling isnt healthy." Lex stated. "That's why I came out here to get her away from the negative energy oh no your upsetting her." She said as she began lightly bouncing jessica.

"I guess I'll just get Miss Nally," Paige said. Nally was the current leader of Amity, though we technically had no leader. Yup, Paige was on my nerves...now she was threatning us.

"No no please don't." Lex begged. "You can take her away when I have to do stuff..." She couldn't keep the sadness out of her voice. How in the five factions did they expect her to do this?

"I'm sorry," No your not. She looked Lexi in the eyes, "I am." she shook her head and helped Lexi back inside, "You can be with her as much as humanly possible."

Lexi nodded eyes full of tears. "Im so sorry,jessica." She whispered. "I'm the worst mother ever you deserve so much better."

"No!" Paige caught Lexi's chin, forcing her to stop and look into Paige's eyes. "You will be the best da*n mother Amity has ever seen. And you are doing the best you can." She released Lexi, "Understood?" she asked sweetly. Creepy much? Too touchy feeley for me. Maybe because I just didn't like Paige.

Lexi shook her head yes , but she was still not believing. "I just don't want to leave her. I'm the only one who wanted her once I found out. I mean sure I was terrified and wished she hadnt come so early."

"Please, let her have the baby it already doesn't have a father, it it needs a mother," Toni said looking at the instructor with his blue eyes that perfectly matched the babies. I nodded backing him up.

"Yeah it needs a mother"

"Its the rules." Lexi said with a frown.

"Most mothers have fathers to watch out for their baby, I will help you out there." Paige winked at Lexi in a friendly way, "You can go make friends, and I will keep your baby safe."

"Guys I appreciate you backing me up but its the rules. I'll get to see the baby when im not busy." Lexi said in what I saw as defeat. Seriously, if you were gonna let Paige walk all over you with her "rules" crap when whatever. I had to remember that this was not Erudite, I couldn't just come up with a written debate and cite my sources and make them change their mind. Maybe I had to write a song?

"Ok" said Toni seeing that Lexi gave in so he did too "let's take the baby back to the safe room"

Lexi nodded. "So ill see her when we're not out doing things,right?" She asked paige. "How will she drink I mean I don't want her bottle fed."

"You can pump," said Paige, "You fill a bottle with your own milk through a pump, the bottle can be saved and your breast milk fed to the baby

"So ill see her when we're not out doing things,right?" Lex asked again as she began gently rocking Jessica.

"Yeah," Asher said nodding, looking at Lexi and her baby.

Lexi pulled jessica close kissing her forehead. "Umm can someone hand me a blanket I think she's hungry." Lexi stated even though she was barely crying.

Cescia handed her a soft yellow blanket.

Lexi covered herself with the blanket so she could nurse little jessica.

I watched Lexi nurse little Jessica, "Aw Lex your gonna be such a great mother" I really believed it. You could already tell how much she cared for Jessica and she would do anything to protect her. I knew she would do great, probably better then me.

Lex sighed. "One can only hope."

"You definlty will, you can already tell Jess adores you"

Lex let out a snort. "She wants me for my boobs."

"Most guys do too," I said, glancing at Toni and winking. "But really Jessica loves you already"

Cescia and Toni laughed at my harmless jab. " We will leave you to rest" Cescia said, it was already 8.

"So I'll stay here tonight right?"

"Yes" I answerd before retreating back to my dorm.


	17. Find Your Unfold

Chase

The mall. A place where girls can secretly judge other girls as they tried on clothes and where you could spend all of your parents cash, and then ask your boyfriend (who you conveniently dragged along with you) for more money so you could buy some oh so cute shoes that you didn't have enough money for. Yes, shopping was a great place for teenage girls to thrive on their prey. But malls could be used for good...like finding the perfect outfit for the perfect not date but meeting with the perfect guy (at least for right now).

Me, yeah I needed to figure out what I was going to were with Hayden. I wanted him to get that I looked professional and clean. But then again I needed it to say I was still single and interested. I wanted it to be one of those jaw opener dresses where he would have to compliment me for looking nice, but not like slutty.

"I need your assistance, Master," Purity joked to Rebecca. "I put my fashion in your hands!"

I figured we were gonna figure out Purity first, which was fine with me. Rebecca giggled. "Isnt a master a boy, no thats mister...Ummm well first of all where are you going you never wanna be caught wearing something black-tie to a casual event its just awful."

"Yup Rebecca, your in charge" I said, almost cringing because I had major control issues. I wasn't one to usually let some one else be in charge. I decided to see how long I could go without acting on impulse and taking the reigns. But it was bad, considering I was the one asking for help.

"I need somthing professional, yet sexy, yet causal, Im meeting Hayden!" I said to the other girls excited.

"Ooooh! I knew you liked him!" Purity said laughing "I need 3rd date material, he said he's take me someplace fancy." she said to Rebecca.

Rebecca nodded and quickly pulled us into a store as she began looking at dresses.

"I like him, but like you know not like like him in that way, yet. But it dosent matter because hes best friends with Channing and Channings being all stupid about me needing to focus and know i cant be in a relationship with him." I said, first laughing, but then sighing. It was awful when your brother was getting in the way of everything. And to thing a few days ago I was glad we were talking and stuff. And he was giving me good advice and everything. Now...I was just grumpy.

"What about this one?" Purity asked sighing, I could tell she felt empathy for me. She held up a cute dress.

Grabbing a few dresses Rebecca shoved them at Purity. "Go, try them on."

Purity stumbled into the dressing room with her first dress and both of Rebecca's suggestions. along with a new combonation. She threw her second dress at me, "I dare you to try it on!"

I took the dress laughing, "Ok Purity, whatever you say. " a minute later I came out wearing the one Purity dared me to try on. "What do u think? Too flirty?" I inspected myself in the mirror. It was a royal blue dress with sequins all on the top and a very low sweetheart. I looked pretty sexy and all, but I figured it would send completely wrong messages.

"A little glitzy,"said Purity, "but I actually like it! And you look fan_-tastic _in it! If not for tonight, you have to get it!"

"Thanks," I said, its been a long time since I had gone shooping to impress a guy. There was no one I had cared enough to really impress "And you look great with anything, i cant choose" I said really meaning it. I was seriously jelous of Puritiy and Rebecca's ability to attract guys like a magnet. I mean guys liked me, but I wasn't as pretty as the two of them. Unless I was and I was just too hard on myself. which could be true. I was quite hard on myself.

"Oh, I just don't knoooow!" whined Purity, "What if he doesn't like it?" her voice was clipped with worry.

I replied to Purity's whine. "Come _on _he'd like you if you were wearing a bucket, or outward stripes for that matter". Everyone knew outwards stripes made you look wider. I twriled one of her curls thinking about what I was going to wear. This was too hard.

Rebecca was walking around the store oblivious to what was going on around her, allowing herself to escape to the only world she understood. She began calculating the cost of outfits.

"Rebecca what do you think" I asked, trying to snap her out of her math trance, "Should i wear a dress or what? And are heels too fancy?"

"Heels too fancy." Rebecca mumbled as she stared at prices and sales.

"Dress." Purity heard Rebecca mutter, in a possesed kind of way. "Beccy? Y'all right?" her country-style Amity accent breaking through as she tried a new nickname, not sure if she liked it.

"Thanks" I muttered, figuring I wasn't going to get much help anymore. But whatever, I'd shopped before, I could handle it.

Rebecca scrunched her nose up up the nickname. "Umm im fine." She sounded a little upset being pulled away from her math.

Purity realized that Rebecca didn't like nicknames, "Alright, _Rebecca_, no nicknames for you! But I really need a dress, and I'm holding you hostage 'till you help me decide!" laughing Purity swatted hair out of her face and help up the three choices.

"Which one do you want to wear?" She asked feeling stressed out. "Uhh second one umm lets go do your guy's hair now." With that she pulled us to the cashier to buy our clothes and practically dragged us to the dorm. Picking up makeup she began helping us out.

I had decided on an adorable short dress, the bottom was navy with green, yellow, blue an pink flowers with touches of cream. It looked really tropical and whatever. Then there was a pink band and the top was gray with a cute not in the middle. I pared it with an adorable pink blazer and gray heels.

We worked in a frenzy, because me and Purity both had to get ready for our dates. After not too much work, Purity was already looking amazing and looking in the mirror, I admitted I didn't look too bad myself.

"Thanks guys," I said talking to both girls. "You know, I think I see a pretty good friendship forming," I said laughing, they were no Kim, but they were going to work.

"Me either," replied Purity, "But I'm really glad I did meet you." she grabbed both girls hands, closed her eyes and gave a quick squeeze. then she let go and began working on her makeup. I guess she agreeded with my mental thought that I didnt picture the 3 of us. I mean me with an Ex-Amity and Ex-Candor.

Then Rebecca suddenly left, which was weird but Becca...Rebecca was weird so I just shrugged and went back to perfecting my hair. Then I heard running and I went and peaked out of the door. I saw Rebecca running down the hall. "Rebecca! Whats wrong?" I yelled after her.

Rebecca shook her head. "Just leave me alone nobody want's to talk to a stupid girl!" Rebecca cried as she tried to get away._  
_

I looked at Rebecca seriously and scribbled downa complicated math probelm,"Do this"I ordered, hoping it would calm her down " First, your not stupid, your brain just thinks differently then everyone. Your incredabley talented and so good at math its scary. I bet ur IQ is extremly high and your pretty too. Seriously, your not stupid, your great" I said, showing my softer side. I wasn't the touchy feely huggy best friend type. I was, I don't know how to explain it. I guess the amount I teased you showed how much I liked you. I decided at that moment how much she loved Rebecca as a friend. Kim wasn't replaced, but I decided that I would survive without her.

Rebecca took the paper and glanced down at it still crying she tried to wipe away the tears. "That's easy tha answer is .235" Sniffling she started to calm a bit but tears started flowing rapidly once more. "Yes I am, evryone looks at me like I'm some freak of nature an-and i'm tired of just being told I'm pretty. I wanna be worth something other than my looks. I want someone to love me and have a real relationship with me."

I smiled at her and wrote down another math problem. "Look, no one thinks your a freak and if anyone tries to make fun of you I'll flip them off or beat them up." I joked, "but seriously, your worth alot, obviously or my m- uh, Jeanie wouldnt of let you get this far. And the love thing, well I cant give you advice on that right now I dont even know if Hayden still likes me after the whole brother thing, but when you find that person, you'll know and they'll love you for you, not for your looks." I said honestly to her, deciding that I could use my own pep talking.

Rebecca sat there for quite some time crying,"I just, i dont even know what you mean when you say your gonna flip them thats how stupid I am gosh i'm such and idiot I should just go get my things and leave the if I leave while i'm still young I can make money as a prostitute." She tried to wipe away tears.

I laughed, "Don't be stupid your too good to be a prostitiute. If you don't become one of Erudite's top math workers, ill...ill eat a rock. And flipping them off is just a gesture to tell them to f*** off, go away, get a life, ect. You just stick up your middle finger and they get the message. But please stop crying, your gonna make me sad and then Haydens gonna ask why am sad and then you know"

Rebecca tried to pull herself together. "Im so sorry, i dont want to infringe on your night. What the heck? I don't even know what I just said." I smiled at her. "And we all know i'm only good for two things, sex and math. Well at least everyone in my old faction new that..."

"And your good at giving advice, being a friend, walking in a straight line," Chase teased," Ill admit thats hard for mr too. But seriously dont doubt urself so much your better than that. How about you see if Jake's open, the two of you could double date?" I was hoping Purity wouldn't mind, because I think that's what Rebecca needed, some time with the opposite gender.

Rebecca let out an exasperated sigh. "I guess but last time I went out with a guy he slept with me, ditched me, made up a lie that I lied and I ended up getting kicked out."

"Seriously? That sucks. Last time I really liked a guy, he was only in it to sleep with me, which sucked because i really liked him and thought it was love, you know the story. And then he had the nerve to ask me to switch Factions, and then get mad at me when I wouldn't Men suck." I sighed, glad I could tell someone else about the Blue-Hair Incident. "And that's what led me to this." I said, holding up my strand of hair, grateful that Kim was there or my impulsive younger self would've dyed the whole thing blue.

Rebecca nodded. "Yes at least you have a date tonight."

"Its not a date, he's helping me with my paper. Anyways after he found out my brother was his best friend...he kinda left. Plus Channing said were not allowd to date and Hayden's too nice to go against him."

Rebecca sighed as Artemis walked by. " Hey you girls okay?"

Normally I would say something smart back to Artemis, because I was getting the feeling we weren't a fan of each other. But right now I had no interest in getting into an argument with someone who could make or break me winning. Because if I started to argue with her, then I better have a lot of facts and guts to back it up. Or else I would lose and there goes my first place. Shaun definitely wasn't going to win.

"Yeah we're fine, having girl talk," I said, remembering to look at my watch and realise she still had 10 minutes. "Have any horrible boyfriend stories?" I asked, curious if Artemis had ever been through a hard breakup. I might as well. something like this could create a bond with her and then we would like each other and then I wouldn't have to worry about potential tension.

Artemis opened her mouth before closing it then opened it once more and closed it. "There was a guy once,yes. I shouldve known."

Chase nodded in sympathy, "Yeah relationships suck." She begain braiding some of her hair to one side

Artemis sighed and Rebecca snuck off to go do her favorite thing.

"Well, I have to go get ready, see you around Artemis," I said, as I went back into the girls dorm. I decided not to push it, if she didn't make the move first then I couldn't, then it could be seen as cheating.

Purity smiled as I walked in trough the dorm dorm, followed by Rebecca. "God, Guys, you almost gave me a heart attack!" she was joking but when she saw the tears in Rebecca's eyes she stopped. "What's wrong?" Katelyn and Silvia swooped down to hear Rebecca's answer.

I smiled and causally answered quickly, before Rebecca could burst into tears again. "Nothing, we just had some girl talk outside, right Rebecca?" I said looking at Rebecca, hoping Purity's question wouldn't send her into a relapse of tears and confusion.

"You," she pointed at Rebecca, "are going to tell me tonight." Winking slyly she turned to me, "Ready to go?" Because their dates were in the same direction, we had decided to walk with each other. Though technically it was not a date...it was a meeting. A meeting that I had to shop for a new dress for and do my hair and makeup for. Yup, just a meeting.

Drying her eyes, Rebecca flipped her hair and smiled bravely. "Later it is." She weakly said

I grabbed my tablet, my blue monogram notebook, and my flash drive, ready to meet with Hayden. I was seriously nervous how it would go and hoped it didnt get akward. I didn't want to be too flirty, but not flirty enough, but still sound professional, oh my gosh I was having a mental conversation with herself, which was fine, my brain worked fast. To fast.

"Chase!" Purity repeated, "are you ready or what?

I nodded, quickly snapping out of it. "Yeah totally" I said as we left to go. I was already checking my reflection in my phone screen to make sure I looked ok. I was seriously nervous, which I hadn't been, other then initiation, for a while. Things didn't scare me, but I guess impressing the people I cared about did. And I needed to impress Hayden, or I could kiss my initiation romance goodbye.


	18. Find Your Affinity

Kim

I guess that was the end of our Baby Shower? It was a weird ending to the fantasy I had had. I didn't actually picture the baby being present at the shower, but whatever. After the Lexi thing I went back to the dorm, taking off the yellow dress I had been wearing for the shower. I changed into a solid white T-shirt and some yoga pants with a pink trim. They said AMITY on the back in bling letter and they were just so adorable. But I was going to test them out today, deciding to head over to the second floor for some flirting. I wasn't actually in the mood for anything, but I figured that if I went up there and guys were up there too, I would talk to them.

I put my hair up in an adorable messy bun, and added a silver glittery headband and some cute earrings. I even put on some suddle makeup because I could. I wanted to look cute for absolutely no one. Then I put on my UGGS and headed to the 2nd second floor when of corse, he was there.

Toni was sitting there on a recliner, looking pretty peaceful. I sat over on the recliner across from him, because no one else was really here. So much for my plan to make some Amity friends.

"Hey Uncle Toni!" I said as I sat down. Uncle Toni was now going to be the name I had for him.

"Aren't yoga pants degrading to woman?" He teased, already giving me a hard time. I could see the playfulness in his blue eyes.

"Only when guys like you look at her butts" I countered, smirking at him.

"My brother would" he replied. Technically he had to of been looking to notice I was even wearing yoga pants, but I let it go.

"Your niece is sooo adorable" I said to him, changing the subject.

"I'm glad she looks like Lexi the only thing she got from Victor was our eyes. That's the only thing I have in common with him otherwise we are -" I started to smile, and he was starting to ramble about his brother.

"You really don't like your brother do you?" I teased, but wondering why he hated him so much.

"Not one bit" He replied, but he was looking at me. Now only so many things could happen when I guy was looking at you. For one, you could have spinach in your teeth, a mistake I made 6th grade. Or he could be looking at you wondering why you were so strange, again 6th grade. I had to admit, 6th grade was not my best year. But he could also be looking at you because you were pretty, or he was interested at that matter. And since I hadn't had spinach all day, and I wash't acting particularly strange, I guessed the last one.

That scared me a lot, because the more I was around Toni the more and more I just felt, right when I was with him. I didn't really get it, but I could just tell that I liked being around him

"Well I like you more then one bit" I admitted blushing, hoping that I didn't seem weird or anything...then I realized Toni could've been looking at me because I was acting strange. I needed to focus and snap out of my Toni induced coma.

Then his face turned slightly pink and I began to internally shoot myself. Way to go Kimberly, you think you actually like a guy so you just act sappy and scare him off. I was stupid but Toni was still looking at me and not saying anything. I concluded I was being weird, but I couldn't get myself to make up a fake excuse on why I had to leave.

"Uh Toni?" I asked him, wondering his thoughts on what was going on. Then he moved to the love seat and patted the spot next to him. I guess that was a promising.

"Yeah, Uh, so ..." he said, and then I sighed internally again. That was not a good sign, that meant that he was feeling conflicted or awkward and now I was dying again.

Then we were so close my stomach started to flutter. I looked at Toni's blue eyes, thinking about blue hydrangeas. They were my favorite flower. They were delicate and soft, and needed morning sun and afternoon shade. They just couldn't get too dry, but they were tough little flowers. They were pretty for show, but the hard work behind them was hidden by its beautiful color.

Then, I felt him place his lips on mine. Suddenly I couldn't see anything else around us, as if there was nothing except space. I could hear the clock ticking as we kissed unknowably to its beat. The clock was secretly urging us to continue, with a sly smile as it ticked on. I felt something I hadn't got when I was kissed by other guys, I couldn't describe it. Like a million little sparks were fluttering through my body. Like I was hit with lightning but had no care in the world. I was everything I could want in a first kiss. It felt special.

"Toni?" I asked, "I-I think I love you." I stuttered out, feeling completely exposed to him. I was perplexed on how after just a few days I was feeling feelings for him. Maybe I didn't love him, but I just felt like I did. It was weird, because I just felt it. For once I had something with no logic to prove, just my emotions.

"I think I may love you too." So I just stared at him wide eyed, surprised that he had not run off from me by now. I was surprised that I had felt something, and gotten feelings in response. He suddenly had his hands around my waist, and it brought me to when he had touched me just a few days ago, and how I filched but didn't make him remove his hand. For a second I worried I was getting myself into a Jayson situation, but I didn't care if I was, I would enjoy it while it lasted. I was in love with Toni Anderling.


	19. FInd Your Fidelity

Chase

I was nervous, like seriously seriously nervous. Like you know that feeling when your super nervous for something because you know it could go really good, or really terrible? And you even put on your favorite pair of underwear and everything so that whatever you were nervous for would go good? Yeah that was me. I just wanted this to go well with Hayden, hopefully really really well, but I could settle for friends. Aquitences even.

"It's open," I heard him say, which gave me the feeling that he was busy.

"Hey," I said cautiously, not wanting to interrupt anything important, he was touching the screen on his desk. I noticed he was a little dressed up, in black suit pants, a blueish greenish button down, and a crisp white tie. He looked good, like seriously good.

Hayden bit his lip, looking like he was concentrating. Then he looked up and smiled at me. "Hey," he said motioning me to come in. "Its a completely touch screen desk. Pretty cool huh? Come sit," he said relaxed. I came in and sat next to him, keeping a casual smile. When I sat down, he smiled cheekily. "Watch. Set your flash drive in that corner," he pointed to the left hand corner. When I did, it automatically opened it and showed all the folders in my flash drive. He tapped the screen with my paper, and it split so that it showed on my side and on his. "I created this two years ago."

Why did he have to be so good looking and smart? Seriously, it was not fair. "Wow," I said, seriously impressed with his invention. "Your so lucky your a genius and can just make everything you think of," I was like super jealous. I swore my mom always held it over my head that I wasn't a genius, even though I was sure I was close. I was extremely smart and did great and school, but I don't think that was ever good enough.

Hayden shrugged, "Its a blessing and a curse," he said looking at me. He looked down at my paper, "Ok so what exactly did you need help on," he asked Chase. He pulled up my paper on the screen. I could almost swear for a second he was checking me out, but then I couldn't. With Hayden I just couldn't tell, maybe because I was trying to hard to tell.

"You were going to help me find a good quote, for my paper," I replied, still in awe of his cool table. Then I refocused, "Its about leadership," I added just in case, looking back to Hayden. "I need a really good quote that is meaningful you know? Like something that can be added in and analyzed?" At first the quote thing was a ploy, but it was starting to look like a pretty good idea. Quotes could really make or break a paper, and a strong one could help. Maybe that was what I was missing.

Hayden looked at the quote, "I dont think it works. It doesnt really show leadership," he said looking at me. "Nice dress by the way, is that new?"

I tried my hardest not to blush, but seriously inside I was so excited that he noticed. It was good that he noticed, because he was looking. That meant that me spending my money on a new outfit did not go to waste.

"Yeah thanks, its new," I said looking down at her dress. "Yeah i don't think it works either, thats why i need your help." I said, looking back at Hayden. I oh so badly wanted to saw how amazing he looked in his tie but I wasn't sure if that was breaking the boundaries of student and tutor. Actually, I've never been tutored and to be honest I didn't know where the boundaries were.

Hayden smiled slightly then looked at my paper. He read it over quickly and changed some grammatical stuff. iI luckily didn't have too many errors, but I was prone to errors when typing. Fast typer, bad grammar. "Is there any part of leadership youd like the quote to emulate?" he asked with his eyebrow raised.

Hayden nodded, and pulled up an internet page that was next to her paper. "Basically any quote you use, it has to be strong. Especially if you are using it to highlight your paper. But dont feel like you HAVE to use one." He helped her search for one.

I was glad that we at least had some time together, even if it was just looking for quotes on the internet. That's something a friend could help you with right? And friends complimented each other on their new dresses right? I was seeing this going in the right direction and I was pretty stoked. Still, I had to keep my cool because I couldn't get all weird all of the sudden.

Speaking of all of the sudden, Hayden turned to me "Ive lived here my entire life. Why havent I see you at all? Besides the obvious fact we are different ages."

"I'm not sure, we've probably seen each other once or twice considering we both grew up here and you're friends with my brother..." I said, completely off guard by his question, which was a good one. I would swear I knew everyone in the school, and then even if we were in different grades I feel like we would've saw each other. And the fact that he was best friends with my brother, so he had had to have talked to me about Hayden at least once. I guess I just didn't pay much attention to my annoying brother when he was talking to be about his life. What a great sister I was.

"Hmm..." he said in thought, which I guess I have to add., he was so adorable when he was thinking. Ok I think that's the teenage girl in me talking. But then his eyes got really wide, and suddenly I was wondering what he was thinking.

"What?" I asked, worrying about what I'd done wrong. I thought I had been good. I didn't flirt that much with him, I'd been polite. My paper wasn't awful, at least as of right now. What could I've done to get a wide eyed look from the guy I was obviously crushing on.

"Youre.. Youre Jeanine's daughter," he said as he made that realization. Then I was quiet, cat's out of the bag I guess. I just nodded, not sure if that was a good thing or bad thing for him. I mean my mom could be harsh sometimes.

"I met you once before when I was younger. My parents used to work for your mom, and I remember hanging with you and Channing during take your kid to work.."

Then I felt a small smile creep on my face as I heard him recall the memory. I was little when it happened, but I remembered. "We did hang out that one time!" and then I shifted weirdly, "Yeah, I guess Channing hadn't told you yet and he didn't want me to,"I added, but that was something for the two of them to talk over. Not my problem or my war.

Hayden scratched the back of his neck. "Your mom and I have a love/hate relationship. I dont want to work for the things she wants me to. But she loves me for my smarts and ability to charm anyone." Mentally I smiled at that, because I was charmed. I guessed the apple didn't fall far from he tree."I dont know why it took me so long to realize who you and Channing were.. I feel stupid." He said sighing. "I hope Channing doesnt mind that youre here."

"Don't feel stupid," I shrugged, we only looked alike once you knew we were related. Me and Channing did, but we only had some of our mom's features. But considering I was her daughter I wasn't surprised if I resembled her a bit. Taking in what he said about him and my mom's relationship, I took a breath. Honestly, I didn't care if he liked her, as long as he liked me I would be fine. Kim and and my mom never had a good relationship and see how we turned out. Oh yeah separated...bad example. But still. "Channing shouldnt mind, your just helping me." I bit her lip, not knowing what to say next.

"It getting late," I said, looking at her phone and noticing the time, "I really should be going," I said. I mean I loved hanging out with him but I didn't want to be at his office all night, it would get awkward, and I actually needed sleep.

Hayden looked up at Chase, after they had been working for almost an hour. "I can walk you back to your dorm," he said sounding casual, but not like completely causal. That made me grin ear to ear, which I had to quickly turn into a small smile. But I was pretty happy that he offered to walk me back. Either he was just extremely nice to me and wanted to be gentlemanly just because, or he actually wanted to spend more time. I was crossing my fingers and going with the later.

I went with the super lame "Sure" because that was all I could muster. For a girl who considered Dauntless, I sure was getting nervous around Hayden. Like I didn't want to mess anything up with us. Still, I actually was surprised he would offer.

Hayden smiled and nodded slightly with a shrug. "Not that it isnt safe to walk at night. But my office is kind of far and I have nothing to do. Especially since I dont want to work on my actual work," he said with a laugh as he stood up. He untucked the dress shirt he was wearing, "Give me like 10 mins and then we can leave."

I laughed a bit before nodding and waiting for him. He said it like it was nothing, but I was hoping that he would rather walk me back then do work because he liked me, not just because work was work. I brushed a strand of blonde hair back and I grabbed my things, waiting for Hayden near the door.

Hayden smiled and turned off all his electronics, and then took off his dress shirt to reveal a navy blue wife beater/tanktop on. He grabbed his dark gray zip up and put it on over top. He held his shirt in his arms, and loosed his tie around his neck. Grabbing his bag with his tablet and work, he smiled at me. "Ok ready to go?"

"Yup," I said smiling as they walked out. "So, what _is_ it like working for my mom?" I asked, knowing Hayden would have somthing interesting to say about her. I didn't want to put him on the spot or anything, just curious because in a year I would be working for her too.

Hayden shrugged, "I dunno. I only work with her on projects that she has to see or if its totally new and she wants me to modify it. Overall though, I work independently with the medicine." I took that as an easy way out answer, but I wasn't going to push. If you liked a girl, a smart move would not be talking bad about her mother. I figured it would all come out eventually.

"Yeah i know, she can be a bit overbearing," I said with a smile, considering I had spent 16 years with her I had seen it all. "Its so nice taking night walks you know," I said turning to look at him, and then looking forward, putting my hands in the pocket of my pink blazer . "Sometimes its good to just clear your head."

I liked to take walks sometimes when I had so much work to do in school and I just had that over stressful feeling like I was going to burst. Walking always helped, you could clear your head and burn off all the ice cream you ate while you studied.

Hayden shrugged as he put his hands in his pockets as he walked with me. "Yeah but she is the boss so you gotta do as she says," he said with a slight laugh. He ran his fingers through his hair, messing up his fohawk. "I used to sit on the roof of my house and look at the stars," he said simply. "Its an awesome view of the milky way and no one really looks for you up there anyway."

I smiled at that, I wanted to go on the roof of my house but I never figured how to get up there and more importantly how to get down in once piece. But now I was feeling more natural with Hayden, because we weren't talking about books or initiation or my mom for that matter. We were talking about the stars, which was something any teenagers could be talking about at night.

"Sounds really cool, " I was kinda jealous, hoping one day I could figure out the mystery of my own roof," the stars are all so pretty. You know every star has a story," I said, sounding the most cheeziest line ever. Like something you would here in a movie. But I didn't feel immediately embarrassed or anything, I just let it flow.

"So Ive been told," Hayden said with a smile. "Maybe we can go there sometime and you can tell me about the stars." He said and right there I almost died, and turned an adorable shade of pink because that was definitely out of the tutor-student zone and into the crush zone. I was liking that movement of zones. I felt like I just graduated, when was my graduation party?

"I'd like that alot,"I smiled, being completely honest.

"You excited for the research paper," he said jokingly.

"Super excited," she joked back, "And your excited to help everyone tomorrow with their papers?"

"Oh totally. I love answering stupid questions," he said with a smirk. He looked over at me, and he walked me to my room.

"Hey theres no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid answers," I smirked and said back.

"Ha Ha very funny," Hayden said with a smile. He walked me to the dorm room, and he stopped. "I'll see you bright and early tomorrow," he said with a small smile.

I smiled back, but was disappointed that I was already back to the dorm, "Bright and early, night Hayden," I said casually with a grin. I mean usually this is where you would kiss and all, but we weren't in a relationship. We were in the crush zone, and moving foreword. Stupid Channing was just a roadblock. One that I would love to take down with my giant bulldozer.

Hayden smiled and nodded, "Night," he said as he nudged me with his shoulder before heading back to his house.

I smiled and then went into the room, hoping the other girls were sleeping so I didn't get bombarded with questions, after all sI was out late with a tutor that I obviously crushed on. So I snuck quickly in and put on my pajamas so she could head to sleep, afterall tomorrow was visiting day.

I tried to go to sleep, but I laid there for a good 20 minutes, just replaying what happened tonight. It wasn't like a date, or some spectacular chemistry formed between us or anything, It was just nice. And I was glad my favorite undies worked, because I had a second favorite pair and tomorrow was Visiting Day and If I had any luck with relationships...the stars would be on my side.


	20. UPDATE: NEW STORIES

**Hey guys**

**UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE**

So OBVIOUSLY I haven't updated this story in like forever. i have a good reason don't freak out. Chase and Kim's stories have now been moved to too sperate stories and have been rewriten. Oooooo Ahhhhh You excited? I know you are! So right now Chase is first up with her new story _**Falling Apart.**_ If I were you and you were me I would know just what to do...STOP READING THIS AND GO CHECK IT OUT. Woah you'r smart you...or me being you. _Anyways_ In all seriousness I would love it if you started reading _**Falling Apart**_ because I worked pretty hard on it. Not to mention I have to work hard to get it back to where Chase's story was before. So if you would read and leave me some reviews I would totally love it! Also if your more of a Dauntless check out my other story FEAR about Cassadee a Erudite born Dauntless, your gonna love it. Anyways thanks for reading and hope you like the new story!

xoxo Queenbee19


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